Do I have to go through this test?(Why do i have to?)

why must i? i can't take this anymore.. being pressed from all sides. Everything is just falling down on me. I feel like giving up already and leave. but I keep pushing on and hanging on.. It's the last straw. The weight is on my last finger hanging on the cliff. I'm about to drop, i'm about to give up. Isn't there anyone out there to help me. I'm close to cursing, close to burning. This test is overwhelming me. My faith is on the last thread. I'm confused, there is certainly NO one i can trust. Whoever at all there is no one. Men cannot be trusted. They pick you up and leave you somewhere in the dark alone and then it's your fault the leave you there and for what? for all you've done of coursewhat's right they take credit for, what's wrong you take all the blame for. That's so righteous. Yeah, that's great it's totally perfect. Never again will this happen. I swear i will not let this happen again EVER!! and i won't do anything ever again.

What can i say? Been failed so many times, in fact too many times. Why do i make the same mistake of thinking that people out there would help me? why do i keep believing something that's not true? why?
You ask me why i say this? i say why do you care? All you say, everything you say are empty. They mean nothing to me anymore. So why do you even ever care anymore? i've had enough of your speaches. I can't bear another pain, another shame, another...
I might give up soon when i can't take it anymore. I don't care what happens to the rest. Why should I? they don't. So WHY the heck should I? But there are still some who can be saved. Don't make the same mistake to them or see them gone.