Don't actually feel like posting anything but i am anyway..
Life sometimes can be so exhilirating with events and joy and yet sometimes it can tear your bones apart.. The silence makes you wanna scream. Tearing apart the white void that surrounds.. In times when you need people beside you those far away are acceptable for an excuse.. but those near you turn their heads away and show you their f***in bare back.. so in your face. as soon as you reach your hand to them. Then everything fades into the white.. So pure but yet filled with demons like lucifer drawin hell to you. the white so white... that it actually burns you.. then you start to see red.. your eyes swell up. Blood gushes from your pores.. your tears flow with crimson rivers... the fire torments you but you don't die.. your veins at the brink of bustin yet they stretch your every muscle to hurt you with the pain unbearable... everything around you is flames and flames not like those of a candle.. but those red hot lava flowing down burning anything in it's way. Just a touch of water is all you need. Screaming your agony and pain... you f'kin "friends" don't hear anything when you squirm in the inside longing for a hand to hold.. the noisy silence i call it.. you yell but there's no sound, no noise, no words nothing uttered in the endless void.. Is this all to life or is there more to the narrow pipe of disaster flushing down the dirt and shit of life.
The waves beat higher.. the storm spins faster... they pull you down.. drown you and drain your very last breath. you suffer the endless toss.. the bottomless depth the screaming plunge which can't be heard by selfish humans who care less bout anything but their own soul for cryin out loud. The writer sits at the edge of his seat. fallin off the edge of my seat.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Friday, October 20, 2006
The Depth Of My Being
Beneath the surface of this being lies the untouched mind.
Unformed to it's prefection by the world around the mind lies bare, vulnarable to the changes of sudden effects. sometimes shrinking it to the toughest state. writers blog some call it the mind can't think of anything. It's sources and libraries locked away. Still the undaunted raw mind be unencumbered and unending with thoughts waiting to see and be seen by the world. many find hard to understand and the mind is many times understated and underestimated. maybe if it's more refined and brought under fine supervision for a time to be unlocked and rearranged and then maybe it would become a powerful thing.
Unformed to it's prefection by the world around the mind lies bare, vulnarable to the changes of sudden effects. sometimes shrinking it to the toughest state. writers blog some call it the mind can't think of anything. It's sources and libraries locked away. Still the undaunted raw mind be unencumbered and unending with thoughts waiting to see and be seen by the world. many find hard to understand and the mind is many times understated and underestimated. maybe if it's more refined and brought under fine supervision for a time to be unlocked and rearranged and then maybe it would become a powerful thing.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Of Sinners and the Forgiven
I was a sinner now forgiven
No one told me
I was wrong in my doing
How couldn't I see
Was i so blind
The truth passed by me
Couldn't set me free?
I saw no light only the beaten
Defeated in battle
I couldn't stand alone
No comrades beside
Was i alone
The arrows couldn't hit me
Couldn't they kill me?
But I held on
To Faith unseen but not ungiven
Hope bell rings in a distance
The battle was about to be won
My Lord He came and took me
To higher ground he brought me
I was a sinner but now forgiven
Not to be perfect just forgiven
Testify my hope to them people
so they may be forgiven too
Can't this life be less downing
The battles less hurting
The waters less drowning
I wish none of this was for us to go through
But then there's no reason for me to be anymore
So that's what i was created for
james tan © 2006 1409-010-019
No one told me
I was wrong in my doing
How couldn't I see
Was i so blind
The truth passed by me
Couldn't set me free?
I saw no light only the beaten
Defeated in battle
I couldn't stand alone
No comrades beside
Was i alone
The arrows couldn't hit me
Couldn't they kill me?
But I held on
To Faith unseen but not ungiven
Hope bell rings in a distance
The battle was about to be won
My Lord He came and took me
To higher ground he brought me
I was a sinner but now forgiven
Not to be perfect just forgiven
Testify my hope to them people
so they may be forgiven too
Can't this life be less downing
The battles less hurting
The waters less drowning
I wish none of this was for us to go through
But then there's no reason for me to be anymore
So that's what i was created for
james tan © 2006 1409-010-019
Sunday, October 08, 2006
life's a why and how
how life can be when a nail's stuck in the woodwork. when you've hammered the nail so deep that you can't pull it out. The nail become an eyesore after being left for long, rusted and old, staining the woodwork from the water that flows downwards as the rain hits. Leaving a mark and stain on the wood. No matter how the nail is being removed there's always a hole in the wood.
why is it that the hole can't be covered back to it's comdition before the nial was put through the wood? a new nail is being looked for to fill that gap. When the nail gets too rusted and expands in it's place it breaks the wood. Craking lines form around it as it rust and expands. It soon become a pain in the back for the wood. It's so hard to move it. how come the wood has to suffer? how come the wood can't regrow and repair itself off the nail's hole. why? why is the nail so selfishly wanting to stab the wood and not let go and putting a crack in the wood? In time to come the wood will break in two and the nail will lose out too. Is it so hard to remove a nail?
why is it that the hole can't be covered back to it's comdition before the nial was put through the wood? a new nail is being looked for to fill that gap. When the nail gets too rusted and expands in it's place it breaks the wood. Craking lines form around it as it rust and expands. It soon become a pain in the back for the wood. It's so hard to move it. how come the wood has to suffer? how come the wood can't regrow and repair itself off the nail's hole. why? why is the nail so selfishly wanting to stab the wood and not let go and putting a crack in the wood? In time to come the wood will break in two and the nail will lose out too. Is it so hard to remove a nail?
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