life isn't just about earning or making a living, it's not just about establishing our carreer
life isn't about going for what we want
it's not about fame and fortune
yea
but what surrounds me now is all that crap and the need for that trash
everyone is striving to make their piece while some of us are left out cast coz we don't meet "their" standards and feel distress that everyone is turning that way
feeling hopeless becasue the ones that were close to them indulge in things that will take away their life
Friday, December 05, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Nobody Knows
Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no
Nobody likes
Nobody likes to lose their inner voice
The one I used to hear before my life
Made a choice
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows
No
Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
I think nobody knows no
I said nobody knows
Nobody cares
It's win or lose not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows no no no no
Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
And oh no no no no
Nobody knows
No no no no no no
Tomorrow I'll be there my friend
I'll wake up and start all over again
When everybody else is gone
No no no
Nobody knows
Nobody knows the rhythem of my heart
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark
And the world is asleep
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
Me
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Want You
Started off as friends
I-was walking down the hallway
When-you caught my eyes
Stared at each other
And it seemed like forever to me
You smiled and looked away
Walk with your friends— out-the doorway
Hooked up the next day
Came a long way from there
Now we’re falling apart….
Am I tired of being used
Or is it something I won’t do
Could it be, just the thing, that we do
Coz all the time, we’ve waited for this moment
There’s nothing right, just feelings and emotions
Stirred about us, left by the others
What could it be?
(I’d want you)
You told me you’d never leave me
You said it’ll be forever, never to end..
Sold me out, thrown-me-out-the-window
Now you want me
You want it back….
I-was walking down the hallway
When-you caught my eyes
Stared at each other
And it seemed like forever to me
You smiled and looked away
Walk with your friends— out-the doorway
Hooked up the next day
Came a long way from there
Now we’re falling apart….
Am I tired of being used
Or is it something I won’t do
Could it be, just the thing, that we do
Coz all the time, we’ve waited for this moment
There’s nothing right, just feelings and emotions
Stirred about us, left by the others
What could it be?
(I’d want you)
You told me you’d never leave me
You said it’ll be forever, never to end..
Sold me out, thrown-me-out-the-window
Now you want me
You want it back….
jamest (c) 2008 tuesday november 04, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Looking Up
Sometimes looking around us brings a sense of helplessness. trying to decern the things that happen in the past and present situations, hoping to get something out of it. Many times i've made decisions i will go head on with till the day i die but as i look back some of those i've made i now live in regret of making those impulsive conscious decisions that affect the lives of those around me as well. as i look up i find that the sovereignty of the one above is too much for me to handle. I've tried not to think of the things that will wear me down but sometimes i just can't help it.
Feelings inside me can churn me up that the wounds i experience outside are nothing in comparison the the cut i feel inside. As i sit in one corner and she in the other i reflect on what we've shared and what we've selfishly decide making things look so complicated when simple and simple when meant to be complicated. Nothing is what it seems to me now.. i question some of what i hold to be valueble and create new values of life from those deceased words of experience.
Everything is Beautiful
Worn out, Wasted
Like bird with broken wings
Sometimes grace reminds me
I don't get to be the king...
but love it washes over
love it pulls me closer
love it changes everything..
everything is Beautiful
even when the tears are falling
i don't need a miracle to believe
even in the crashing down
i can hear redemption calling
and everything is beautiful to me
sweetly you release me
from the weight of what i've done
the trigger pulls the hammer
but the bullets never come..
love like a landslide, like the wind
spins around and pulls me in
and it's unveiling i begin....
Monday, October 13, 2008
Solitude, Silence and Prayer
I'd say the ideal way to living life to the fullest is being in a fellowship of those tuned in to the truth revealed about the one God. I find myself seeing the the possibility of seeking out a place of solitude only with those disciplined and full of the wisdom of God. The call to a life of silence, only speaking nothing but profound and wise words, words of truth about the reality of this world, all seeking for more enlightenment and revelation from the Creator Himself. The world in all seems to produce more and more misconceptions about life including those of credentials of knowledge made by the folly of man. I find that if only we lived in tune with the ways of God, we will understand the wisdom and folly in existence all around us. If we tune ourselves away from the distractions of this world and focus only on the truths that the Father has placed in our lives we'll be able to find the peace and wisdom through prayer.
Faceless Man
People write about things they feel in the present state they're in or about the thoughts they have hogging over them for a period of time. Sometimes it's just a random fact or fortune that they put into existence.
All the works done by an artist sometimes aren't appreciated or seen of any value until a later part in history or when they die perhaps? No form of recording were available in time of their creating the pieces of expression. Certain number of their contribution are accepted by the general society but yet most of it are considered worthless cept-by a small group of non-conformist who find those left out by society to be intriguing in a certain way making sense out of the things that mean nothing to the rest of the world. Yet the most wonderful and priceless pieces of expressions are no where to be found unless they are brought back from the dead to record the things on their mind. The journeyman writing has but many of his visions left in the secret of his mind left unpublished in the other world. Those revealed are nothing but a fraction of the pertaining ideas hidden in the tunnels of his imagination, unreachable, untouchable, never able to be brought out due to lack of the sciences still far away from discovering truth even about the existance of this world from the perspective of man who presumes there is no god but yet fail to find an answer to their theories of existance.
One man embarks on a journey of his life finding no peace in everything he does even though his perception of life lies in the faith of his childhood that there is a greater one out there. This world however has many-a-times ill treated the journeyman and his thoughts of wisdom left unattended to and dismissed by the aged and seemingly wise to the standard of their calculation. Yet as young as the journeyman might seem, the hiddden treasures lay burried until the day a soul is able to unearth the secrets of the black heart of the faceless man. The journeyman lays faceless in this world of a million beings unaccounted for but only known by the one above. Trapped in the severity of the proud big men in his lifetime, the pride of those seemingly wiser and experienced in life or so it seems but yet fail to live out the words they speak and preach; it all goes to the dust and the wind comes and carries them away. The journeyman, strives to reach the state of better imperfection that those before him have tried to but fail, even though the road which he travels on seems impossible as there is no end to the road he sees yet his faith tells him to go on and on till the last breath is drawn.
Journeys through the mountains and valleys are part of the road, steep and stable are the terrains of life. This is the road that the faceless man has chosen, not to accomplish anything for his own pride and honor but that one day his face might be brought high in the high places by the judge of life.
All the works done by an artist sometimes aren't appreciated or seen of any value until a later part in history or when they die perhaps? No form of recording were available in time of their creating the pieces of expression. Certain number of their contribution are accepted by the general society but yet most of it are considered worthless cept-by a small group of non-conformist who find those left out by society to be intriguing in a certain way making sense out of the things that mean nothing to the rest of the world. Yet the most wonderful and priceless pieces of expressions are no where to be found unless they are brought back from the dead to record the things on their mind. The journeyman writing has but many of his visions left in the secret of his mind left unpublished in the other world. Those revealed are nothing but a fraction of the pertaining ideas hidden in the tunnels of his imagination, unreachable, untouchable, never able to be brought out due to lack of the sciences still far away from discovering truth even about the existance of this world from the perspective of man who presumes there is no god but yet fail to find an answer to their theories of existance.
One man embarks on a journey of his life finding no peace in everything he does even though his perception of life lies in the faith of his childhood that there is a greater one out there. This world however has many-a-times ill treated the journeyman and his thoughts of wisdom left unattended to and dismissed by the aged and seemingly wise to the standard of their calculation. Yet as young as the journeyman might seem, the hiddden treasures lay burried until the day a soul is able to unearth the secrets of the black heart of the faceless man. The journeyman lays faceless in this world of a million beings unaccounted for but only known by the one above. Trapped in the severity of the proud big men in his lifetime, the pride of those seemingly wiser and experienced in life or so it seems but yet fail to live out the words they speak and preach; it all goes to the dust and the wind comes and carries them away. The journeyman, strives to reach the state of better imperfection that those before him have tried to but fail, even though the road which he travels on seems impossible as there is no end to the road he sees yet his faith tells him to go on and on till the last breath is drawn.
Journeys through the mountains and valleys are part of the road, steep and stable are the terrains of life. This is the road that the faceless man has chosen, not to accomplish anything for his own pride and honor but that one day his face might be brought high in the high places by the judge of life.
Calling Quits?
People say don't do things only to end up giving up half way through. I find that true though it only applies to certain things in life. There are some things better calling quits than letting it distract you from all priorities and sometimes this calls for a sacrifice to be made sometimes not just one but a whole package of sacrifices which could include what ppl call friends and members. Still it's under comtemplation and available for second thoughts. Though i agree music is one of my passion i still find that somethings aren't as necessary as it would seem. Even though it's been in my list of things to do which is starting a band i think it's time i give up on one and take on another, a better one perhaps? Oh well, though it could be in regret leaving one or if lucky two valueble friends otherwise it's all been dealt with by the way things goes of taking into consideration a "family" as what people seem to asume to be treated. It's not to say i wouldn't miss the company for the short span of time that was there but it could be something to lay aside seeing it might not be worth putting so much effort into if all you might get in return is a group of exclusives hungry for high society companions and there willing for a period of time and when all's worn thin moving on to the next victim. Buddies or not sometimes.. if not as a fact: nothing in this world last anyway.
I've much a many times felt like quitting on my pursuit for depth of insight and knowledge but i know if i push on in this, the end would be rewarding. Yes, i'm behind many of my assignments however i'm still gonna push through and brush aside petty matters that were around to pull my attention away from what's more important which is what i've already set my goal on in the first place.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
pebble thoughts
Sun rise in the break of dawn
Where ever you've gone
I know you're alone
The promises i made
were meant to last
though the memories
seem like dust
my thoughts of you will stay the same
Skies turn grey from blue
Waves crash on shores of rocks
from dawn to dusk
our love will last
till end time comes
or one of us gets taken away
while time permits my trust
these are my pebble thoughts
winds change without our knowing
life can be harsh
on us we know
the sanctity of life
still remains true
and one day
when it breaks down
it's all up to us to hold our trust
love can be tested
still i'll never back down
one step at a time
i'll make you mine
and for that ever, we'll find
words by jamest 01:46 sep 25 2008
Where ever you've gone
I know you're alone
The promises i made
were meant to last
though the memories
seem like dust
my thoughts of you will stay the same
Skies turn grey from blue
Waves crash on shores of rocks
from dawn to dusk
our love will last
till end time comes
or one of us gets taken away
while time permits my trust
these are my pebble thoughts
winds change without our knowing
life can be harsh
on us we know
the sanctity of life
still remains true
and one day
when it breaks down
it's all up to us to hold our trust
love can be tested
still i'll never back down
one step at a time
i'll make you mine
and for that ever, we'll find
words by jamest 01:46 sep 25 2008
Friday, September 05, 2008
ramblings of the empty hearted. souless maybe?
so.. tell me the meaning of life.
well life is kinda hard to describe. there's always mountains and valleys we need to scale.
the view from the mountain is magnificent. but to get there. thats the hard part. isnt it?
yeah. as hard as it may seem when you reach up there, the prize is just rewarding. as easy at the valley would be, i mean yeah you'll see the beauty if it right in front of you but the vision is close if not too far, but the mountains.. you'll see everything
what then do we say of men spawning evil in their cores? of evil men of evil deeds that know no bounds, tied in the hearts of those closest to us. how then do we save them? the lost, the broken and the damned?
the lonely?
now lets talk about a girl. story of a girl perhaps?
maybe
tell me. how would you describe her?
awesome person, fine person to talk with.. with some depths perhaps?
she's found love. and that resonates. gives hope in a way. that, that ill natured feeling is somehow and someways still out there. truth often comes from the least expected places. so if love is real. where the hell is it? not here in me that is.
hope? oh that which play us so many a times. when exactly do we see it? do we feel it? or do we understand the true meaning of the word? truth is hope is never too far away yet sometimes we just can't reach it.. she's the valley he's the mountain. a perfect blend that causes it all to resonate.
aight. thats all for now. thank you for tuning in to the mindless ramblings of me,
and me. peace out.
conversations of the sages 2008 09 05
well life is kinda hard to describe. there's always mountains and valleys we need to scale.
the view from the mountain is magnificent. but to get there. thats the hard part. isnt it?
yeah. as hard as it may seem when you reach up there, the prize is just rewarding. as easy at the valley would be, i mean yeah you'll see the beauty if it right in front of you but the vision is close if not too far, but the mountains.. you'll see everything
what then do we say of men spawning evil in their cores? of evil men of evil deeds that know no bounds, tied in the hearts of those closest to us. how then do we save them? the lost, the broken and the damned?
the lonely?
now lets talk about a girl. story of a girl perhaps?
maybe
tell me. how would you describe her?
awesome person, fine person to talk with.. with some depths perhaps?
she's found love. and that resonates. gives hope in a way. that, that ill natured feeling is somehow and someways still out there. truth often comes from the least expected places. so if love is real. where the hell is it? not here in me that is.
hope? oh that which play us so many a times. when exactly do we see it? do we feel it? or do we understand the true meaning of the word? truth is hope is never too far away yet sometimes we just can't reach it.. she's the valley he's the mountain. a perfect blend that causes it all to resonate.
aight. thats all for now. thank you for tuning in to the mindless ramblings of me,
and me. peace out.
conversations of the sages 2008 09 05
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Larut
Dewa - Larut
Mungkin aku pernah juga..
Merasakan cinta..
Tapi tak pernah..seindah ini..
Mungkin aku juga pernah
Merasakan rindu..
Tapi tak pernah..Sedalam ini
Mungkin kamu takkan pernah..
percaya..
Bahwa sesungguhnya..
aku t'lah terjatuh.
Chorus:
Kuakui aku telah larut
Larut ke dalam
Kamu yang kucintai
One of my fav songs from indo.. :D
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Creator God
You made the stars
The sand on the shores
Your hands formed the earth
and made me from dust
You spoke words into life
Your breath springs forth new things
And above all You made me alive
Brought me new life
When I come before your face
I want to lift You high
In this place
Lord I long to see you come
Dwell in this place
Lord in this place
My creator God
The sand on the shores
Your hands formed the earth
and made me from dust
You spoke words into life
Your breath springs forth new things
And above all You made me alive
Brought me new life
When I come before your face
I want to lift You high
In this place
Lord I long to see you come
Dwell in this place
Lord in this place
My creator God
Friday, May 09, 2008
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Freedom
I find myself in solitude
when the weekend comes
The things that matter seem
nothing more than the past
Yet the past predicts the future
The more i struggle
The more i grow dissatisfied
As night draws closer
i grow weak and tired
where's the help that was promised me?
* I scream!! Why am i forsaken?
Is it true i'm never alone?
Ev'rything shows i'm broken
i'm vulnarable and open
Yet i look to find reason
of why i'm alive and breathing
the reason i still live
in my search for freedom
i look to constitute at end
the things that comes by
All that matters before
brings worthlessness than value
though past predicts future
destiny's in our hand
and time is what's spent
As the day comes to end
the light of tomorrow shines
as new hope brings a new laughter
where can i run to?
what can i hope for?
in search of the freedom
that lies beyond all measure
that words man speak means nothing
words by jamest 2008 2310-005-007
when the weekend comes
The things that matter seem
nothing more than the past
Yet the past predicts the future
The more i struggle
The more i grow dissatisfied
As night draws closer
i grow weak and tired
where's the help that was promised me?
* I scream!! Why am i forsaken?
Is it true i'm never alone?
Ev'rything shows i'm broken
i'm vulnarable and open
Yet i look to find reason
of why i'm alive and breathing
the reason i still live
in my search for freedom
i look to constitute at end
the things that comes by
All that matters before
brings worthlessness than value
though past predicts future
destiny's in our hand
and time is what's spent
As the day comes to end
the light of tomorrow shines
as new hope brings a new laughter
where can i run to?
what can i hope for?
in search of the freedom
that lies beyond all measure
that words man speak means nothing
words by jamest 2008 2310-005-007
Monday, May 05, 2008
unlucky
I'm standing at the corner
My backs against the wall
I think that you are fine
wishin you were mine
Thinkin bout the things we'd do
imagine what life would be....
with you---
(but)
We weren't meant to be
Your love's too cold for me
I can't get your heart
You not even playing hard
to get
i'm just so not meant for this
just unlucky
at the prom from my corner
you seem to be alone
like you're looking for someone
was gonna make a move
then you turned around and smiled
i thought you were lookin at me
then he came (i guess)
_in progress
words by jamest 2008 0213-005-005
My backs against the wall
I think that you are fine
wishin you were mine
Thinkin bout the things we'd do
imagine what life would be....
with you---
(but)
We weren't meant to be
Your love's too cold for me
I can't get your heart
You not even playing hard
to get
i'm just so not meant for this
just unlucky
at the prom from my corner
you seem to be alone
like you're looking for someone
was gonna make a move
then you turned around and smiled
i thought you were lookin at me
then he came (i guess)
_in progress
words by jamest 2008 0213-005-005
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
where i confide
The heavens so grey,
The moonlight fails to shine,
The earth's light aren't like a day,
darkness around is all i find
yet behind those clouds i find a line,
the silver streak in the sky,
the grace i receive can't be defined,
i can't help but ask why?
In the clouds i try to hide,
yet it turns our there's no place i can confide,
the alleys wet and cold,
the sidewalks scenes draws me old,
wishing things that won't happen,
the sea to turn red maybe?
it's like the day the sun shines over me
but the clouds stay and never return,
but hey doesn't he already know?
oh well guess thats what i know,
he hold everything and does it well.
where i confide by James (c) 2008 0110-004-029
Saturday, April 26, 2008
what it means
 You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. |
Monday, March 10, 2008
through time, the wait
if only i could find you..
I know you're out there..
Somewhere in that mass..
you're the glitter in the mess..
but where can i find you..
are you really out there..
someday will i find you..
one day in that big mass..
time flies by so quickly..
memories fade as the sunsets each day..
clouds billow so quickly..
as the wind carries them through the air..
the clock keeps ticking..
even when the moonlight shines so brightly..
everyday the wish for time to stop..
that beautiful moment to stay..
as waves hit the sand by the sea..
land is washed away..
as the clock keeps ticking each day..
life is being taken away..
all i wish to find you soon..
to find the glitter in the sea..
to share a moments so true..
under the moonlight so beautiful..
before the day gets too cold and we grow too old..
I know you're out there..
Somewhere in that mass..
you're the glitter in the mess..
but where can i find you..
are you really out there..
someday will i find you..
one day in that big mass..
time flies by so quickly..
memories fade as the sunsets each day..
clouds billow so quickly..
as the wind carries them through the air..
the clock keeps ticking..
even when the moonlight shines so brightly..
everyday the wish for time to stop..
that beautiful moment to stay..
as waves hit the sand by the sea..
land is washed away..
as the clock keeps ticking each day..
life is being taken away..
all i wish to find you soon..
to find the glitter in the sea..
to share a moments so true..
under the moonlight so beautiful..
before the day gets too cold and we grow too old..
Monday, January 21, 2008
School that Rocks
Hmm.. I was trying to find some pictures i could throw in but i just couldn't find those that i thought would fit in. Well it's been a while since i've had time to sit in front of my computer and not know what to do and finally thought "maybe i should update my blog".
Just an update on my life.. I've started school once again after a whole year of hectic working schedule. I'm kinda excited actually that I've finally started doing something that I've looked forward to for a long time or at least 6 months. It's been the passion of my heart to learn more about God and i'm finally able to do that.
Two weeks into BTS and two reading materials already or actually it's only been a week of class. The first week was more of a retreat so it wasn't really assignments and all but more of a rest in God.
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