A time to choose

It's been a while since I wrote anything since I've been rather caught up in a crazy season. I guess God's trying to tell me something sending so many different people to tell me the same thing. It's time for me to decide what I really have to do to get to the place where I'm supposed to be. Although it's going to be a long road still I've learned that I've gotta be patient in order to gain something.

Really looking for a job isn't an easy thing as it is to go work with familiar people. It takes so much and with the time I've wasted so much, there really isn't anything much for me to show in order to get in to any company that's hiring. With little or no portfolio to show, it's like telling people I want to do this but I haven't done anything. In this competitive world, it's like kissing that job goodbye. I do realize that it would take a miracle for me to get a job at this point of time and all I can do is apply and pray that God will grant me an open door to the place where He wants me to be.

With that, I will need to sacrifice a lot of other things that are a distraction and keeping me from reaching my goal. It may mean for me to let go of certain ministries and activities. I need to learn to not be so fickle minded and learn to only focus on the right things. And that's where it's hard for me to do. As much as I would love to hold on, I need to let go in order to grow. I don't want to get caught left behind again.

Some pics I've finally decided to take time to refine

titles in order (top to bottom) morning dew, lamp, before the clouds

who knew

It's been a while since I've started to think and weigh the choices and directions I have to choose, praying about what's next, and where to from here. Though time has really just passed by I'm still here with no set directions as to where to head off from here. It's just scary to see life catch up so quickly and yet I'm left behind with people looking at me and keep questioning me as to what I want to do with my life with remarks that don't sound really too pleasant to be mentioned here, the pressure is on. But honestly I don't see a clear path ahead of me, which is a problem with eyes watching from all sides carrying their own perspective of what I'm going through and judging from their point of view.

The hardest decision for me to make is whether to leave what I've done so far just to embark on another journey. the dilemma being two sides of the story. On one hand there's people talking about commitment and perseverance, and on the other hand I'm asked to do something with my life and some of it from the same people. I don't wanna be caught giving up something on the verge of a new horizon. Then you get people coming to say "See, if only you held on a little longer... this would've happened.. bla bla bla.." all that bullcrap when they were the one telling you to move along.

Man all these things that people do and find whatever excuses they can to cover or protect what they've said done to prove their own self righteousness. I'm sick and tired of waiting and hearing people who plan for something and never come around doing it. And that's one of the reasons I'm stuck in my situation. Because I've been hoping for something that will never happen like a sitting rubber duck. I'm just really tired of playing games with all that's going on. But the reality is that it's really that hard to find a direction that is certain. Cause the simple fact is, nothing is certain. and i'm about to lose it all if i don't make a step forward. Pressing on for the wrong thing just wears you out in every aspect.