All of the hype that your money can buy

So finally the hour where we face our second biggest obstacle draws closer. All the talk bout them beating us and us beating the
will finally be put to the test to see who will prevail in the battle for the top in div2 and earn the spot into div1. With our past performance showing off the lack in ability to finish it's no wonder they have such confidence in this battle. But the end is still a ways to go. Will we be able to rise to the occasion and make that finish up high or remain blunt in our attempts to beat this coming team. I hope for the former to happen and pray to God to be on our side as we take another step to move forward in our journey of floorball. Having said that the junior team will also be facing the same club we are just at a different level. It will be their first game in div2 and also the first time playing in full court for most of them. I hope and pray for the best in the outcome of both teams. And now I can sleep inpeace after having said what was on my mind.

Is God Saying, 'Wait'?

No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. - Psalm 84:11 NKJV

Often the toughest times in life are those moments when all we know about God doesn't seem to help or get us the results we want. That's when we learn about His silence. Whenever God doesn't say a word, He's teaching, even in stillness. He's allowing us to grow by forcing us to think, study and arrive at conclusions while He stands by like the loving parent He is. Faith comes by hearing, but patience comes by silence. Patience is what God gives you when bad things remain unchanged. It's His sedative for the troubled heart. It's the balm He rubs into your aching muscles when it feels like you're being stretched to breaking point. These are the times when the pain lasts so long that only God can release the patience required - the sheer grace to get you through it.

There are great benefits to waiting. For example, if you learn to wait and observe, you'll make better choices. The thing you think you can't live without today, you may be glad to live without tomorrow. '...No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly' (Psalm 84:11 NKJV). So when God says, 'Wait,' trust Him. Either it's not what you need at this time, or He has something better in mind for you. You say, 'But what am I going to do in the meantime?' The Bible says, 'Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart...' (Psalm 27:14 NKJV). Stop fussing, stop pushing, allow God to work and you'll come out of this stronger and with a better result.

Learner

So the day came when Penang faced 'a team from Singapore' and we were all hyped up as we entered the Colosseum. I guess there was an element of being over confident evident in some faces. Although the first time facing an unknown opponent apart from the fact that they are Singapore a nation probably 10 years ahead of Malaysia in floorball.

As we stepped into the court the excitement grew and i found it somewhat hard to breathe and move, taking the fact that warm up wasn't quite enough. Was somewhat a blunder for me watching the balls fly pass us defenders consisting of the 3 FireBRANDS and one Last wall our Keeper Bryan Koh. The concept of defending to me was not clear but it took me one and a half periods to recognize that fact. I was wasting my energy and time going for blind blocks, chasing after anything that seemed to be in my path. And i think it was the third time that KY explained to me that i finally understood my role well enough and that was a little to late to make a difference in the score line which was already stepping away from our efforts. I guess my take on this is that we're still about two years behind in terms of playing together as a team and for some of us technically.

Tiring as it was it's a great experience playing with another set of islanders and I'm leaning through the way. If by any means this adds to the experience I've to gain it was more than worth it.

Worship

Wow, It's been an exciting week for me. Coming back from Kulim from a worship seminar and going to a worship retreat the very next day in Penang Hill. Definitely one of the best experiences to have. I can say that I learned quite a bit in Kulim although my role there was to help facilitate but we learn as we teach too you know.

Going up to the mount was even more rewarding and I do think that it was God who planned for things to happen this way. Coz my going was a last minute thing. At first I didn't plan to go coz of work but i was relieved of work earlier than I planned and expected in time for this Retreat. However there was no place and I thought oh well, I guess I really won't be able to go. But God is faithful and opened a door for me to make it.

The experience there was irreplaceable. It's been a long time since I've really felt so close to His heart. We started to write songs one our own and I was kinda stuck with no music but I felt it was not the end. I wanted to press on further, i knew i needed some breakthrough. And God is faithful to answer the call of those who cry out to Him. Night time was spent in silence where i meditated on Isa 54:17 and for some reason 1 Pet 5:6-11.

Day 2 kicked off with quiet time and I read Ps104 and seriously after reading that psalm you won't be able to just sit down so i grabbed my camera and started to get close to creation and it's beauty, soaking in every bit of God's magnificence revealed through the things around us. And then we did some Divine Reading or Lectio Divina to hear what God was speaking to us through a passage. And when we open our ears to hear Him speak it's really easy to hear His voice. Then we split up in groups to write more songs and for our group a song was birthed. Sharon, Ken Jeen and I grouped up and started to mind map what we wanted to write about. We prayed before we started and started to scribble down all out ideas.. Then out of the blue i just had an inspiration from a simple chord and from there we grew the song from the pre-chorus to the chorus and then the verse where we kinda got stuck.. lolz and Ken Jeen suddenly popped the words out which totally just fit into the line and there we had our first almost complete song haha so we continued to work on it a bit after that to better shape it. So now it's sitting in the green house :)

Came the night, we started to sing about how He loved us and turned into a soaking of His presence and we took turns to prophecy to each other which was encouraging to see people being touched by His word. And the best part of it all was this morning when the seal was set in our lives with the anointing of oil where I couldn't stand but to break down at His touch.. It felt like i was totally drenched in His presence. I just saw a picture of myself being poured on with oil just soaking my whole body then just as i was prayed for like a flame just caught it and my whole being was covered with fire. It was just amazing. I don't know what else or how else i can describe the feeling or the experience. Just amazing

Missing (In) Action

Today's a Saturday and I'm not where I'm usually at, and where I usually am at is not nearly where I am right now. Ok, Thank you for reading :P

Lol that's not all haha, Ok so usually on Saturdays my schedule goes like this...

Morning
8 a.m. Prayer Meet
9 a.m. Junior Youth Band
11 a.m. Breakfast
12:30 Floorball

and sometimes
5 p.m. Worship Practice for youth service

6 p.m. bible class
7:15 pre-service prayer
then supper after youth

But this week I cut half my schedule away.. XD
I certainly missed the young people known as FireBrands!! and their burning passion but I had the opportunity to be of service elsewhere, where I'm more needed :) after all we're called to make a difference right?

I went to Kulim to help out in the Worship seminar to help our Kulimites improve in their tools of worship. So after floorball i went home, got caught in the rain a little.. which was a good time to Thank God :) slept for a bit then headed to Kulim at 7ish.

Upon reaching Kulim I started to set up the drums and all then practice the songs for the night. So syok syok practice lo.. then after that i realized my wallet was totally missing. I remembered taking it out from my bag at home. I was worried I might have lost it which would give me a heck of a trouble having to remake my IC, license, road-tax, etc. etc. which is a hassle. So by right I should be panicking and worrying what might happen and all. However, surprisingly i had a peace that i didn't feel engulfed my worries. Not to say that i wasn't worried but there's just this peaceful feeling I had. Not to say that i'm trying to super spiritualize things but i think the Devil wasn't happy with what might happen tonight in Kulim so he prolly devised something to distract us from our priority which is God. But his plan failed and His plan succeeded. But boy did i pray that it wasn't lost somewhere in BM coz we went there for dinner on the way to Kulim.

I reached home and i found my wallet on the couch where i was sitting before i left the house. =D Thank God. I hope FireBrands enjoyed yourselves with worship and our Elder Speaking.

So Yesterday

So finally the long awaited match review on BorakBorakFloorball is up and I guess i can say it's pretty much what i expected. Our lack in finishing is what's causing us the low scoreline although i do believe we are still on the rise in our form, so hopefully we can build up the momentum in the two weeks of so called given time to improve ourselves even further.

Having said that i was kinda disappointed that yesterday's training was canceled due to lack of numbers being able to make it. Kinda sad. OH yeah and it was result taking time for those who sat for their SPM examination last year and boy did they do well :).
I know although some of you out there think you could've done better but i guess if you put your best in it then it's already good. Although it might not really sound like a compliment if you're really down.. But yeah pick yourself up and move on to the next step in life yea =D.

So I spent the earlier part of the day in SXI with the boys and saw their happy faces. Then went to lunch with Dan, Gary, Sam, Akash, and Jun Cheng whom i couldn't recognize since he lost so much weight lolz. Right after that headed to Gurney to meet up with Ming Yen and Jo Lene for a movie (The Book of Eli). Before that lunch part two lol.. since i didn't eat much at the mamak (a bit sick of mamak food) so we went walking round and round gurney then someone suggested Winter Warmers and i was like WHYYY??? so we went to chillis instead lol.. had the Old Timer which was nice the food actually came in time for us to catch the movie though unfortunately we still missed a little bit from the beginning as *ahem* Ming Yen was acting like she's never met people outside school to everyone she met along the way XD. Imagine this; she would just run and squeal when she saw anyone she knew -.- yesh literally.
So it made everything verrrry exciting lol.

After the movie it was raining totally heavy so i thought maybe need to arrange my transport to training in Balik Pulau, and that's when i found out training had been canceled.. the sadness. So nvm la since come out all the way to Penang d didn't wanna go back so early so called andrew asked for the plan of the evening. And the final destination was CoD woot woot. Totally got pwned haha and oh top friendly fire was me -.- totally down again. Actually coz of this mode called martyrdom where you drop a bomb upon death so if the person kills you at close range you'd blow 'em up too but unfortunately when i got killed my teammates were like totally next to me so... BOOM they also died.. XD. And the last destination was ABU, or also known as Sinar Cahaya (i think) where we sat, talked, talked, talked more and changed seats(some people), and talked more till about 2 something.. almost three i think so by the time i reached home it was 3 something. Totally crasheddd...

Living By Faith

All these gained [God's] approval - Hebrews 11:39 NAS

Hebrews chapter 11 is often referred to as 'the gallery of faith'. Two groups are mentioned. Group one '...escaped... the sword...' (Hebrews 11:34 NAS). Group two '...were put to death with the sword...' (Hebrews 11:37 NAS). Now we'd all like to be in group one, but the Bible says both groups '...gained [God's] approval through their faith...' (Hebrews 11:39 NAS). The Message paraphrases this Scripture: '...these people of faith died not yet having in hand what was promised, but still believing. How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance...' (Hebrews 11:13 TM). Their faith kept them focused!

Sometimes faith is an instrument of change; at other times it's a means of survival. It's what gives you the tenacity to trust God when His will seems to clash with yours. Often your faith is perfected more when things don't change than when they do. You don't need faith for what you can see or have already attained; you need it when life makes no sense, when you can't explain why the baby dies, or the job falls through, or the marriage isn't working, or the wicked prosper, or the good die, or the righteous suffer, or the kind receive no comfort. We think there's only one good outcome - the one we want. No, we must trust the character and plan of God; who He is and what He does. We must see Him at work in whatever comes our way. And even when we can't, we must trust Him, knowing '...God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose...' (Romans 8:28 NLT). Did you get that? Everything!

Life's a bag of dust

At this moment I am completely lost. No sense of direction, no heading, no bearings, no earnings whatsoever, 'NOTHING' is what's spelled when you tap into the ATM of my brain. Since I thought I was on the direction of serving in the ministry I've been swept up from under my feet and thrown down the roller-coaster ride of my life.

The plans that were drawn up just wiped off the board. It's funny isn't how sometimes people tell you they can help you out if you just trust them. Yeah right! It's basically because I thought that it could actually happen this time that I so blindly got caught up in the waves of complacency. Well ok, I admit that losing the job was my mistake, not going to work for too many days and telling the wrong source is partly what caused for this outcome. Yet as I thought the way paved into getting myself involved in the ministry would open the path just suddenly disappeared.

Do I really have to do things myself? Is it ever going to be easy for me to just see my life's map laid in front of me? OR am I just going to keep getting stuck in this hazy world of uncertainty?

I honestly don't know where I'm headed next. Is this another of those times where you think you have it and then God comes and wipes the board clean again? I'm so sick and tired of getting blank pieces of the puzzle that don't seem to be fitting in anywhere and I'm sick of relying on people. I am not looking for a charity organization to just pick and follow behind for left over bread. I guess I've been brought up in an over protected lifestyle that I don't understand what it means to really and i mean REALLY, face LIFE in the face. Growing up protected can actually do more damage than good because it does not prepare you for reality until the one day when you think you're ready for it then you get hit SMACK in your face that life isn't and hasn't been and will never be what you think it to be.

What does it really mean to be in ministry? how does it fare when you serve not hoping to get paid but yet believing you'd be fed with no one giving you bread. Although the word clearly says you'll be fed if you work. How does that really work now? When all these years nothing has come of it that isn't from the head of the house instead of feeding the ones who also toil and sweat, breaking their mental muscles and fighting to keep things going in the organization known as the BODY. It's almost as thought I would give up, as though I will give in, it's almost the point of me breaking and turning away from this facade that has so much blinded me from the real world. I need to break away

Today loh...

Well for starters i think i'm falling sick again this time.. last week was a headache this week sinus and a cough coming. DOn't know if I'm gonna be able to pull through the week for the div2 game on Saturday.

Went to work today feeling all heaty inside and nose starting to expel the watery stuff.. So work my way through the day.. which was pretty hot and humid driving the van most of the day picking up stuff sending stuff etc etc all under the hot sun with the van's air cond out of order it was a killer.. went to lunch at McD at Tesco... and thats where i saw an angel or so to me it was.. lolz.. there was this pretty lady sitting at the table opposite to mine. I think she was an auditor or something, prolly been there the whole morning too. So here i was, wondering if she's taken or married, or still single, or is she from chinese school then suddenly potong stim.. one old lady sat in between our table... totally block my view... -.- terus down..

anyways.. After work went to state training half sickly.. and the best part was killer here and killer there.. woot woot. Having fun with training or so you think. I mean of course it was fun but also tiring.. Just hoping i didn't faint like half way through the training... which made us shed a lot of sweat. During the drills i almost killed two goalies.. unintentionally la.. ter-hit them.. Then Game time my turn to kena hit.. i ran up to the opposite player to block the shot then the blade came up almost to my face coz i kinda went low but ended up hitting my finger.. *Ouch* bled a little coz of the "sharp" edge of the blade hit between my knuckle.

So i'm still wondering if i should go work or half day or terus sleep.. zZz althought the last choice would be the best lolz.

Song INspiring and Ministering

Hillsong United - Arms Open Wide

Take my life I lay it down
At the cross where I am found
All I have I give to You oh God

Take my hands and make them clean
Keep my heart in purity
That I may walk in all You have for me

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

Take my moments and my days
Let each breath that I take
Be ever only for You oh God

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

My whole life is Yours
I give it all
Surrendered to Your Name
And forever I will pray
Have Your way
Have Your way

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine