I've just started to think of how great the past week had been just seeking His face and being enabled to serve Him in so many ways and the thought of "wow i did great" crept in but by His grace i was reminded of how small i am and how insignificant i was. I started to reflect back on the encounters i had with the Father and how great and marvelous He was. The more i see the greatness of my Great big God, the more i am being brought to the truth of how lowly and small i am. Being shown His throne room and being confirmed by another just added amounts to my faith in Him. It is by no mistake, that i am what i am and that i am who i am now and i am striving to be more like His son, Jesus. Really the words from the song 'Nothing Compares' by Third Day resonate in my head that "nothing compares to greatness of knowing You, Lord" and the amount of truth in that statement is being made real to me each and every new day as i learn to rely on Him and long after Him daily. Again i am made low when i realize His greatness and how weak i am when i see His hand move. I am but a week vessel only used by Him by His grace and mercy for i amount to nothing on my own but in His eyes He has called me precious and nothing compares to that.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Intimacy
The past week has been a challenging at first but now an exciting time with God. If you're wondering why I haven't been updating anything on FB it's coz i'm taking a week off of it and preparing for the AWAKEN Conference.
Re-prioritizing things in life is a great challenge for someone who goes by feelings most of the time and just this week I've been learning to let go of my own plan and dreams and "greediness" of holding on to so many things to just letting Him guide me and just hearing His heart out and what's important to Him. Still it's a learning process for me to take part and I'm still learning and need His grace day by day.
I'm learning to walk more and more in intimacy with Him and that's the exciting part of life. I'm encouraged by the people who have come alongside me and just speak words of truth and words that build me up this past week. Thank you again for being ministers to me :)
Re-prioritizing things in life is a great challenge for someone who goes by feelings most of the time and just this week I've been learning to let go of my own plan and dreams and "greediness" of holding on to so many things to just letting Him guide me and just hearing His heart out and what's important to Him. Still it's a learning process for me to take part and I'm still learning and need His grace day by day.
I'm learning to walk more and more in intimacy with Him and that's the exciting part of life. I'm encouraged by the people who have come alongside me and just speak words of truth and words that build me up this past week. Thank you again for being ministers to me :)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Directions and Discipline
How do I start? hmm.. I guess I've not had a clear direction in the present for a long time. Being restless and well unsettled.
I guess I've not learned my lesson well, the lesson that God has been trying to teach me so many times before and I did not realize it and yet, use His name to reason myself out of it just because it would seem justified to do so.
Just finally talking to someone who understands where I'm coming from totally knocked sense into me and helped me see what actually happened as i reflected back on what I've been through. Throwing great opportunities away just because i feel... giving up on things that were a lesson just because i feel.. and so many other things wasted just because i feel.. or rather i DON'T feel like it anymore. And as I look back I understood what i was really doing and almost brought tears to my eyes for not realizing the mistakes I've made when I could've easily passed the test if only i persevered through it all. But sadly i didn't, and now it's class 101 all over again and I have to sit through every class and tests that will be thrown in my face. It will be a very trying period for me but I have to get this done with if i want to move forward.
Even my time at seminary, I was awakened to the fact that it wasn't just to learn how to read or interpret the Bible or whatever but it was a test and a greater lesson to teach me to be disciplined and to stick through something. Even in working after that it wasn't just another job, it was a classroom to teach me to pull through the hard times of the mundane or so i call it. Making it sound so.. properly indecent when all it was, was myself not being able to take the lessons that God has been trying to get me to learn.
I pray it's not too late to learn this valuable lesson and to go through it diligently. If it's anything else, it could be my one shot to make it in time before it gets too late or i get too old to be used effectively in service. I don't want to miss the ship you know. It's already been hard as it is and time is slipping away by the day. This is the one thing I ask of the Lord that I may have His grace and mercy, strength and diligence to go through with it. Not just rushing through it but to be teachable in spirit.
I guess I've not learned my lesson well, the lesson that God has been trying to teach me so many times before and I did not realize it and yet, use His name to reason myself out of it just because it would seem justified to do so.
Just finally talking to someone who understands where I'm coming from totally knocked sense into me and helped me see what actually happened as i reflected back on what I've been through. Throwing great opportunities away just because i feel... giving up on things that were a lesson just because i feel.. and so many other things wasted just because i feel.. or rather i DON'T feel like it anymore. And as I look back I understood what i was really doing and almost brought tears to my eyes for not realizing the mistakes I've made when I could've easily passed the test if only i persevered through it all. But sadly i didn't, and now it's class 101 all over again and I have to sit through every class and tests that will be thrown in my face. It will be a very trying period for me but I have to get this done with if i want to move forward.
Even my time at seminary, I was awakened to the fact that it wasn't just to learn how to read or interpret the Bible or whatever but it was a test and a greater lesson to teach me to be disciplined and to stick through something. Even in working after that it wasn't just another job, it was a classroom to teach me to pull through the hard times of the mundane or so i call it. Making it sound so.. properly indecent when all it was, was myself not being able to take the lessons that God has been trying to get me to learn.
I pray it's not too late to learn this valuable lesson and to go through it diligently. If it's anything else, it could be my one shot to make it in time before it gets too late or i get too old to be used effectively in service. I don't want to miss the ship you know. It's already been hard as it is and time is slipping away by the day. This is the one thing I ask of the Lord that I may have His grace and mercy, strength and diligence to go through with it. Not just rushing through it but to be teachable in spirit.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Canon vs Nikon in real time
So today was a busy day for me.. well kinda. I forgot something really important with it's date due end of this month haha so had to rush over to the Island to finish it. Then the rest of the day was pretty boring and exciting at some points lolz. I managed to scout gears for my camera although I forgot to check out how much my camera would be worth if i were to trade it or something XD must've slipped my mind (that doesn't mean I'm selling it).
So I sat at the camera shop and chatted with the guy who seems very pro =P and he's a Canon man btw. I managed to get some prices for tripods, filter, lens and lenses lolz. However i still need to work with my finance minister about budget. Really fun time at the shop though went looking for hires as well.
After that took off to INTi field to play football with a LARGE group of people :) after sooo long and after missing it last week although in the process hurt my thumb AGAIN!!! not that bad though, just slight pain for catching the ball wrongly. Went to Justin's place for a shower and it was time for BOWLING!!!!! woot woot!! headed to BJ for the firebrands:ONWARDS outing at the alley. My job however was not to play but to shoot :) and that's what I did with given opportunity. The best part was.. the hands on comparison of Canon and Nikon, it was the 20D(ancient fart) vs the D90(young chap), 8mp vs 12mp, facing off with high ISO low light rink.
Although after a while the Nikon went "f - -" like literally that's what showed in the lcd panel haha don't know what went wrong, while the Canon remained steady and did it's job. I did manage to set the two to a duel shooting a shoe... :) with the same settings.
Both in Extended ISO modes blasted to the highest or (H) on my 20D, at about 42mm zoom, f4.5 and 4.8 for the Nikon, my tammy 24-135 vs the Nikkor 18-105. And the results were amazing. lolz.. a few shots measured and tested before that and I fell in love with the Nikon's high ISO low noise processing, whereas my baby went a lil noisy compared to the D90. However I still like the color tone on mine :) just a little warmer than what you'd get from the Nikon. It's hard to describe it all here so i'll post up the pictures when i get it from the Nikon owner :) till then have fun
It's here.. the comparing shots.. although not shot exactly at the same settings but this is off the camera.
So I sat at the camera shop and chatted with the guy who seems very pro =P and he's a Canon man btw. I managed to get some prices for tripods, filter, lens and lenses lolz. However i still need to work with my finance minister about budget. Really fun time at the shop though went looking for hires as well.
After that took off to INTi field to play football with a LARGE group of people :) after sooo long and after missing it last week although in the process hurt my thumb AGAIN!!! not that bad though, just slight pain for catching the ball wrongly. Went to Justin's place for a shower and it was time for BOWLING!!!!! woot woot!! headed to BJ for the firebrands:ONWARDS outing at the alley. My job however was not to play but to shoot :) and that's what I did with given opportunity. The best part was.. the hands on comparison of Canon and Nikon, it was the 20D(ancient fart) vs the D90(young chap), 8mp vs 12mp, facing off with high ISO low light rink.
Although after a while the Nikon went "f - -" like literally that's what showed in the lcd panel haha don't know what went wrong, while the Canon remained steady and did it's job. I did manage to set the two to a duel shooting a shoe... :) with the same settings.
Both in Extended ISO modes blasted to the highest or (H) on my 20D, at about 42mm zoom, f4.5 and 4.8 for the Nikon, my tammy 24-135 vs the Nikkor 18-105. And the results were amazing. lolz.. a few shots measured and tested before that and I fell in love with the Nikon's high ISO low noise processing, whereas my baby went a lil noisy compared to the D90. However I still like the color tone on mine :) just a little warmer than what you'd get from the Nikon. It's hard to describe it all here so i'll post up the pictures when i get it from the Nikon owner :) till then have fun
It's here.. the comparing shots.. although not shot exactly at the same settings but this is off the camera.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
It ain't easy
Wow for me the past few weeks have been really a test of faith. First off, interview and hoping to get a job ending up not getting it. A lot of new things learned from that though. Tis a season of new paradigms for me. Seeing things in ways I've never thought of, like this season of waiting that I've been brought to understand so differently and finally to realize what the real meaning of wait is.
So I've re-set aside time to seek God and to find out where I'm suppose to go in these few months. Living by faith is really testing me, being an impatient person i tend to want things quick and prompt I sometimes what it means to not have something I want. It keeps me at a discipline level to not rush into getting things which right now there's those I'm really hoping to have. It also helps determines what's priority and what's necessity. I tend to get those two mixed up most of the time.
For now trusting God is like a roller-coaster ride now. It's sometimes smooth and slow and then suddenly my heart is restlessly pounding, sometimes from excitement and sometimes it's from not knowing what's to be next. So many things I just wish I had the answers or at least a form or certainty but that wouldn't be faith now would it. =)
I guess I still have lots to learn this season. I'm trying to be patient like totally holding myself back from doing lotsa things but it feels like it's not near slow enough to where I'm supposed to be. I am, straining the ropes that are keeping me on track, trying to get farther than what I'm allowed. Which at this point is kinda painful for me being in wait for so, so long that I can't really remember the feelings I've had before. It's a start of something totally new for me. Just the restlessness of wanting to know what it's gonna feel like at the end of it is torture. Which is why I need His grace every new day.
While I'm still praying for directions to get clearer I just feel like I have to step out to reach where I'm supposed to be. A major step of faith. And for that i need strength, and that I ask of the Lord that He will give me strength. Not to break free, but rather strength to wait on Him and His time.
Whew... now that I've let it all out, I should be able to sleep hehehe..
So I've re-set aside time to seek God and to find out where I'm suppose to go in these few months. Living by faith is really testing me, being an impatient person i tend to want things quick and prompt I sometimes what it means to not have something I want. It keeps me at a discipline level to not rush into getting things which right now there's those I'm really hoping to have. It also helps determines what's priority and what's necessity. I tend to get those two mixed up most of the time.
For now trusting God is like a roller-coaster ride now. It's sometimes smooth and slow and then suddenly my heart is restlessly pounding, sometimes from excitement and sometimes it's from not knowing what's to be next. So many things I just wish I had the answers or at least a form or certainty but that wouldn't be faith now would it. =)
I guess I still have lots to learn this season. I'm trying to be patient like totally holding myself back from doing lotsa things but it feels like it's not near slow enough to where I'm supposed to be. I am, straining the ropes that are keeping me on track, trying to get farther than what I'm allowed. Which at this point is kinda painful for me being in wait for so, so long that I can't really remember the feelings I've had before. It's a start of something totally new for me. Just the restlessness of wanting to know what it's gonna feel like at the end of it is torture. Which is why I need His grace every new day.
While I'm still praying for directions to get clearer I just feel like I have to step out to reach where I'm supposed to be. A major step of faith. And for that i need strength, and that I ask of the Lord that He will give me strength. Not to break free, but rather strength to wait on Him and His time.
Whew... now that I've let it all out, I should be able to sleep hehehe..
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Things Happen so quickly
"I have a passion, I know what it is, but what have I done to fulfill it?"
Technically that has been the question popping up every time I reflect on what I'm doing. Since the last post I've been looking for the right company to get attached to in order to fulfill my dream and my passion. But alas I have yet to find an open door. I've been trying to contact the right people, praying and seeking hoping to find someone or somewhere I can get started with telling myself, "do what ever it takes to get started, even if it means just picking up after people". I guess it's never easy to get started on something with nothing really to show off about; I'm not a genius or whatever but all I am is that I want to learn.
Finally went for my interview and well I kinda expected the result but the process was extraordinary. I guess it wasn't really my passion to get into graphic design, I mean yeah i know that but i didn't know I was so far off from it. Although I must say that I'm kinda disappointed in not being able to make the cut. I guess it was so obvious that both my interviewers said I need to look for the thing I'm passionate for. the only problem with that is that I still haven't had the chance to link up with the people that I've come in contact with. Which is frustrating, I'm really on the verge of breaking apart. Guess the only thing that's keeping me sane is the constant reminder that God is in control of my situation and the time i spend with Him.
The answer to the question up top, "I'm doing all I can right now, just hope it's not too late and waiting for an open door"
Technically that has been the question popping up every time I reflect on what I'm doing. Since the last post I've been looking for the right company to get attached to in order to fulfill my dream and my passion. But alas I have yet to find an open door. I've been trying to contact the right people, praying and seeking hoping to find someone or somewhere I can get started with telling myself, "do what ever it takes to get started, even if it means just picking up after people". I guess it's never easy to get started on something with nothing really to show off about; I'm not a genius or whatever but all I am is that I want to learn.
Finally went for my interview and well I kinda expected the result but the process was extraordinary. I guess it wasn't really my passion to get into graphic design, I mean yeah i know that but i didn't know I was so far off from it. Although I must say that I'm kinda disappointed in not being able to make the cut. I guess it was so obvious that both my interviewers said I need to look for the thing I'm passionate for. the only problem with that is that I still haven't had the chance to link up with the people that I've come in contact with. Which is frustrating, I'm really on the verge of breaking apart. Guess the only thing that's keeping me sane is the constant reminder that God is in control of my situation and the time i spend with Him.
The answer to the question up top, "I'm doing all I can right now, just hope it's not too late and waiting for an open door"
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