What a way to start the new year.. *rage*

What a way to start the new year indeed. It started out with Chicken Pox of all things. I couldn't go help move house couldn't go for my 1st week of school and the say there lot's of thing to be done. I'm doomed** but I'm getting well which is pretty fast just a week of stuff and it's all dried up just waiting for it to drop off and I'm good to go. Been doing my devotions even though I'm sufferin, cool eh? Come to think of it I'm not really sufferin I'm just suffering from boredom(however u spell that).

it's a pretty wild new year even though I can't make it for OCOV missed it twice already. Some younger ones are going working to get some cash, wish I could do that too. It's good experience for them. Should learn to get responsible.
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Been doing some deep thinkin lately, it may sound weird but it's actually not. Come to think of it I'll be 20 this year... uhuh.. 20.. Getting old.. As people will say but I prefer to look to the other side and say still young because there are still important thing that need to be done like reaching out to unreached people groups and doing what I'm passionate about; going to mission field and encouraging people to go too. Just can't wait to get out of college and going back on that track. But it's not gonna be easy. I mean just to think of having finished college coming out needing to work which is kinda a problem for me having no degree and cash, on the other hand going on mission fields is another issue coz having no support is really though but it's good to learn to lean and trust God. It teaches me to count on God. Still then I'm already starting to worry, I just can't help it, especially of finding the person I'm gonna be spending the rest of my life with now that I'm turning 21 the year after. After college look, for job, go mission field get a video cam... argh... it's all crackin my brain. I'm getting all paranoid. God... save me...
Too many things top think about... things i shouldn't be thinkin about now. It's like the saying don't worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself, but i'm trying to make plans at the same time worrying while making them. I'm trying to drive on get on with life but what can be done I have nothing to do so i'm starting to worry and all that. It's a internal struggle that can't seem to end. I will try my bst to just leave it to God.