How do I start? hmm.. I guess I've not had a clear direction in the present for a long time. Being restless and well unsettled.
I guess I've not learned my lesson well, the lesson that God has been trying to teach me so many times before and I did not realize it and yet, use His name to reason myself out of it just because it would seem justified to do so.
Just finally talking to someone who understands where I'm coming from totally knocked sense into me and helped me see what actually happened as i reflected back on what I've been through. Throwing great opportunities away just because i feel... giving up on things that were a lesson just because i feel.. and so many other things wasted just because i feel.. or rather i DON'T feel like it anymore. And as I look back I understood what i was really doing and almost brought tears to my eyes for not realizing the mistakes I've made when I could've easily passed the test if only i persevered through it all. But sadly i didn't, and now it's class 101 all over again and I have to sit through every class and tests that will be thrown in my face. It will be a very trying period for me but I have to get this done with if i want to move forward.
Even my time at seminary, I was awakened to the fact that it wasn't just to learn how to read or interpret the Bible or whatever but it was a test and a greater lesson to teach me to be disciplined and to stick through something. Even in working after that it wasn't just another job, it was a classroom to teach me to pull through the hard times of the mundane or so i call it. Making it sound so.. properly indecent when all it was, was myself not being able to take the lessons that God has been trying to get me to learn.
I pray it's not too late to learn this valuable lesson and to go through it diligently. If it's anything else, it could be my one shot to make it in time before it gets too late or i get too old to be used effectively in service. I don't want to miss the ship you know. It's already been hard as it is and time is slipping away by the day. This is the one thing I ask of the Lord that I may have His grace and mercy, strength and diligence to go through with it. Not just rushing through it but to be teachable in spirit.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
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1 comments:
Our God is a God of 2nd chance.
We tend to mess things up in life every once in a while. It's not so much of the messing up that matters but the the decision you make after the mess that matters.
To clean the mess or sweep it under the mat?
Continue to seek His guidance as to where you should be or what you should be doing. And when you find that out, step into it with Him. Persevere through. Like you said, you don't want to miss the ship the second time now would you? :P
God bless bro'!
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