who knew

It's been a while since I've started to think and weigh the choices and directions I have to choose, praying about what's next, and where to from here. Though time has really just passed by I'm still here with no set directions as to where to head off from here. It's just scary to see life catch up so quickly and yet I'm left behind with people looking at me and keep questioning me as to what I want to do with my life with remarks that don't sound really too pleasant to be mentioned here, the pressure is on. But honestly I don't see a clear path ahead of me, which is a problem with eyes watching from all sides carrying their own perspective of what I'm going through and judging from their point of view.

The hardest decision for me to make is whether to leave what I've done so far just to embark on another journey. the dilemma being two sides of the story. On one hand there's people talking about commitment and perseverance, and on the other hand I'm asked to do something with my life and some of it from the same people. I don't wanna be caught giving up something on the verge of a new horizon. Then you get people coming to say "See, if only you held on a little longer... this would've happened.. bla bla bla.." all that bullcrap when they were the one telling you to move along.

Man all these things that people do and find whatever excuses they can to cover or protect what they've said done to prove their own self righteousness. I'm sick and tired of waiting and hearing people who plan for something and never come around doing it. And that's one of the reasons I'm stuck in my situation. Because I've been hoping for something that will never happen like a sitting rubber duck. I'm just really tired of playing games with all that's going on. But the reality is that it's really that hard to find a direction that is certain. Cause the simple fact is, nothing is certain. and i'm about to lose it all if i don't make a step forward. Pressing on for the wrong thing just wears you out in every aspect.