I...m falling over
Over the edge
Out of the page
(and)
I....m starting over
wish I could be out there
Out and safe from here....
And I don't know why i'm here
What's the use of me
Wasting my time
waiting's a crime
If i Fall down today
Will you catch me
catch me
IF slip away
will you reach for me (reach for me)
Save me?
Up against the world
Fighting for the things
I believed in
For so long
it's just gone
everything's wrong
nothing's just the same
can't give up the fame
hope is not a lie
i can't deny..
YOu... used to be here
giving me strength
taking my hand
(but) now.. you've deserted
left me stranded
wasted....
words by jamest 2009 - Oct - 29
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Utter disappointment
All that I've done the last week was wasted as i couldn't run this week. I think i over used my legs until the point where resting 2 days is not even enough for it to recover. After stretching and warming up, came the regular rounds in time attack. So i felt a bit of pain already while doing my warmup laps, but i still went on running. Went on my pace steadily although today i started a little behind compared to my past few weeks of starting ahead of the crowd. did 3 mins plus for the first two rounds but when i came near the third round, that was when i felt the sharp pain deep in my shin again. I knew it was the last round so i kept pushing until the pain was hard to bear, it felt like I'd rather break those legs than feel this way(although in reality breaking them would be more painful). So i sat the rest of the day watching the rest of the team do the drills as i reflect on being stupid for pushing myself too far. But that is not the utter disappointment. The so many questions that flood my mind seem to be pointing me to an end.
am i strong or do i just think i am?
am i arrogant or am i meek?
am i proud or am i humble?
am i wise or am i foolish?
do people like to be around me or do people want to stay away from me?
am i intimidating or am i inviting?
am i threatening?
am i pushing things too far or am i not taking it far enough?
do i know a lot or do i think i know a lot?
do i know too much?
the list goes on and on it's like an identity crisis or rather it actually is. What does it feel to be deprived? What is it like to be lonely? Loneliness is not being alone in your own room, loneliness is being surrounded by a sea of people and you still can't find yourself, and you still don't feel loved. Sometimes i ask myself, how much significance do i have? Will i be remembered for the good reasons or the bad reasons? will i be remembered at all? If i die, what will be written for my remembrance? Undoubtedly sometimes i feel like i wouldn't live a very long time on this earth, but the journey itself seem to take forever. When will my work be complete? will i even be ready? or is my mission far from my reach? I have no answers. I wish i did.
am i strong or do i just think i am?
am i arrogant or am i meek?
am i proud or am i humble?
am i wise or am i foolish?
do people like to be around me or do people want to stay away from me?
am i intimidating or am i inviting?
am i threatening?
am i pushing things too far or am i not taking it far enough?
do i know a lot or do i think i know a lot?
do i know too much?
the list goes on and on it's like an identity crisis or rather it actually is. What does it feel to be deprived? What is it like to be lonely? Loneliness is not being alone in your own room, loneliness is being surrounded by a sea of people and you still can't find yourself, and you still don't feel loved. Sometimes i ask myself, how much significance do i have? Will i be remembered for the good reasons or the bad reasons? will i be remembered at all? If i die, what will be written for my remembrance? Undoubtedly sometimes i feel like i wouldn't live a very long time on this earth, but the journey itself seem to take forever. When will my work be complete? will i even be ready? or is my mission far from my reach? I have no answers. I wish i did.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Run baby Run
With the song playing in my head, "run baby run.. don't ever look back.."
I decided to go for a last round of running this week since i won't be able to run on friday.
regular 3 round again i clocked 10:53 which is the same as yesterday awesome... i hope this shows consistency XD although i did feel very tired after that. 3 days running straight is a crazy thing to do so suddenly but there has to be a start right? :)
I planned to run 20 minutes today but ended up going the extra mile to finish the km run also which i failed miserably. As i ran the first half everything was ok although i could feel the muscle on my left calve tightening up when i started but i decided to push on until i reach the end and made a U-turn to head back the second half as i did, i felt the muscle pull growing tighter but in my mind i was telling myself "keep going, just a little more to go" then ran for about 200m in the second half it just gave in, my body automatically switched to walking as the pain was too much to hold up the constant pounding, but i quickly took it to the pace with breeze walking hoping to reach the other side by 30 mins.
Almost looked like a walkathon guy haha. push push push and finally nearing my finish point i decided to try and run again to the goal but after about 5 steps body sutomatically switched to walking again.. -.- so walk lah... reached my end point at 29:54 so i finished it off with a set of push-ups. came back whole body was sore.. whoah.. but it was fun.. next week state training i hope the results pay off to be able to finish 3 rounds in 10 mins or less hopefully.
I decided to go for a last round of running this week since i won't be able to run on friday.
regular 3 round again i clocked 10:53 which is the same as yesterday awesome... i hope this shows consistency XD although i did feel very tired after that. 3 days running straight is a crazy thing to do so suddenly but there has to be a start right? :)
I planned to run 20 minutes today but ended up going the extra mile to finish the km run also which i failed miserably. As i ran the first half everything was ok although i could feel the muscle on my left calve tightening up when i started but i decided to push on until i reach the end and made a U-turn to head back the second half as i did, i felt the muscle pull growing tighter but in my mind i was telling myself "keep going, just a little more to go" then ran for about 200m in the second half it just gave in, my body automatically switched to walking as the pain was too much to hold up the constant pounding, but i quickly took it to the pace with breeze walking hoping to reach the other side by 30 mins.
Almost looked like a walkathon guy haha. push push push and finally nearing my finish point i decided to try and run again to the goal but after about 5 steps body sutomatically switched to walking again.. -.- so walk lah... reached my end point at 29:54 so i finished it off with a set of push-ups. came back whole body was sore.. whoah.. but it was fun.. next week state training i hope the results pay off to be able to finish 3 rounds in 10 mins or less hopefully.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Looking up and forward...
Like the title of my blog I'm always looking up even though things may seem down I'll try to find the light.. the way out, the higher ground, the better choice, the path less taken...
Two days ago i went on a jog... my brother said i was crazy since the next day was state training. He said "you ar.. shouldn't do like that, will kill yourself must rest one day one..", but boy did i not listen.. terus run... so run run run... first goal is to run 3 rounds in less then 13 minutes.. so, push push push... the round around Bukit Dumbar that the state team usually does is about 700m this one is 800m per round but the difference is Bukit Dumbar has more gradient means.. more up hill down hill variant whereas this taman is more gradual with only a slight incline. Anyways.. so i ran and pushed myself to keep a constant pace which i was successful in doing for the three compulsory rounds and managed to top my time at 10:48 then another 3/4 of a round before doing 20 push-ups and then continue running for another kilo slower this time just to keep going for 25 minutes . Then ran to watch my brother play futsal after calling me siao hahah. Then got a drink and ran back to my house which took about 12 minutes for about 2.5km.
The you know.. state training the next day (read previous post)
So to the present day.. since i was able to get off work early today as there was no OT needed i thought hmm.. should go run since coach Ed said should run everyday so i try loh... And this time my brother didn't say anything haha, but brought his cat along -.- i don't know why but he was supposed to run but he didn't lolz. I told him I'm gonna run 30 mins not stop and off i went.. to tryout my endurance and hopefully see how i might fare for the PBIM. Again the 3 compulsory run for the fastest time consistantly.. and i did it a little slower this time in 10:53 a little disappointed lah but oh well it was a difference of 00:05 will decide whether i can make it or not in the real thing, gotta try harder next time.
Next was the extra 3/4 of the round again but this time i didn't stop for push-ups instead i went ahead to the km run for about 2 rounds so 2km in total i think.. will go measure the distance soon but for now it seems like one km per round. I pushed myself to keep running until 30 minutes was up which i managed. PHEW!! what a relief that i can actually run non stop. Then the run back after completing the two rounds ran back to the lap circle for another 800m then finished it off with 20 push-ups and boy was i relieved.. finished the whole thing in 41:23.
What I've learned
Well i found out that our minds have a mental block for 20 minutes or plus.. for the first 20 minutes or so our minds keep telling us you can't go anymore.. it's too hard.. but as i kept on going not concentrating on how far i've ran but just to keep running and keep my legs moving after that 25-30 minutes it feels like i could go on forever now.. it was like.. "just keep moving, just keep moving, step by step, keep going" so my legs kept moving and moving.. until i saw my brother walking his cat and the sun had already set so time to go home for a nice warm bath and now going for my dinner so cheerio, hope you've learned somethings from my experience too yea.
Two days ago i went on a jog... my brother said i was crazy since the next day was state training. He said "you ar.. shouldn't do like that, will kill yourself must rest one day one..", but boy did i not listen.. terus run... so run run run... first goal is to run 3 rounds in less then 13 minutes.. so, push push push... the round around Bukit Dumbar that the state team usually does is about 700m this one is 800m per round but the difference is Bukit Dumbar has more gradient means.. more up hill down hill variant whereas this taman is more gradual with only a slight incline. Anyways.. so i ran and pushed myself to keep a constant pace which i was successful in doing for the three compulsory rounds and managed to top my time at 10:48 then another 3/4 of a round before doing 20 push-ups and then continue running for another kilo slower this time just to keep going for 25 minutes . Then ran to watch my brother play futsal after calling me siao hahah. Then got a drink and ran back to my house which took about 12 minutes for about 2.5km.
The you know.. state training the next day (read previous post)
So to the present day.. since i was able to get off work early today as there was no OT needed i thought hmm.. should go run since coach Ed said should run everyday so i try loh... And this time my brother didn't say anything haha, but brought his cat along -.- i don't know why but he was supposed to run but he didn't lolz. I told him I'm gonna run 30 mins not stop and off i went.. to tryout my endurance and hopefully see how i might fare for the PBIM. Again the 3 compulsory run for the fastest time consistantly.. and i did it a little slower this time in 10:53 a little disappointed lah but oh well it was a difference of 00:05 will decide whether i can make it or not in the real thing, gotta try harder next time.
Next was the extra 3/4 of the round again but this time i didn't stop for push-ups instead i went ahead to the km run for about 2 rounds so 2km in total i think.. will go measure the distance soon but for now it seems like one km per round. I pushed myself to keep running until 30 minutes was up which i managed. PHEW!! what a relief that i can actually run non stop. Then the run back after completing the two rounds ran back to the lap circle for another 800m then finished it off with 20 push-ups and boy was i relieved.. finished the whole thing in 41:23.
What I've learned
Well i found out that our minds have a mental block for 20 minutes or plus.. for the first 20 minutes or so our minds keep telling us you can't go anymore.. it's too hard.. but as i kept on going not concentrating on how far i've ran but just to keep running and keep my legs moving after that 25-30 minutes it feels like i could go on forever now.. it was like.. "just keep moving, just keep moving, step by step, keep going" so my legs kept moving and moving.. until i saw my brother walking his cat and the sun had already set so time to go home for a nice warm bath and now going for my dinner so cheerio, hope you've learned somethings from my experience too yea.
A Disciplined Man
A wise man once said this "A disciplined man beats his body" not beat up himself, but beat his body meaning making it strong, toughening it up. Of course these were taken from what Paul said "I beat myself.." can't remember where it's found but yeah.
So i took also the advice of another man to beating myself and went jogging for 25 + 12 minutes to push myself. Then the next day was state training and again i pushed myself doing killers round after round not knowing when my legs will give. But in the end I did it and did not give in.
The next big challenge i'm about to face is the Penang Bridge Run which will be on the 22nd November which is only about a month away, which mean i only have about a month to run. It's gonna be my first time running 21k and on the bridge, I really don't know how it will end up but, there's a first time for everything so that's my next big challenge.
So i took also the advice of another man to beating myself and went jogging for 25 + 12 minutes to push myself. Then the next day was state training and again i pushed myself doing killers round after round not knowing when my legs will give. But in the end I did it and did not give in.
The next big challenge i'm about to face is the Penang Bridge Run which will be on the 22nd November which is only about a month away, which mean i only have about a month to run. It's gonna be my first time running 21k and on the bridge, I really don't know how it will end up but, there's a first time for everything so that's my next big challenge.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Whoah.. I feel so fit kekek
Ok so finally after waiting for two long weeks for the results to come out I've finally got it XD and the result for the APAC nomination is... *drum rolls* i did... not get it hahah. OK so you might ask why am i so happy if i didn't get it ... mind boggling? not really. Well the reason I nominated this time was because it was in Singapore which is pretty close by, don't have to spend too much although i know that my level of play isn't quite there yet but oh well like they always say no hard trying right? Right!! haha discounting the anxious nights thinking "crap.. if i get them gai liao" why again? simple. Youth camp coming up and i'm neck deep in the preparations, Work which i just started and it wouldn't be nice if i take leave so many times when i just started XD, saturday night youth which is currently "boh kau lang" since SPMers are going through the grind time so it's all kinda under powered and imagine if i got the nomination then there will be a few weeks where i cannot be with the fireBRANDS which is right now my main focus at least for this year. Anyways.. thats the explanation for the reason why i'm so happy even though i didn't get the nomination. besides.. when i filled in the form i sorta laughed when i saw years played and all i could write was 9 months compared with all those i can imagine writing 4 years or 5 years or more... so yeah it was a good bid though XD
So back to the top.. i feel so fit..? no wait I am fit hahah or is it just today? Dunno oh well today was a little draggy in the office my head was burning dunno why.. my stomach was really hungry although i had milo in the morning and some cookies, and i was peeling stickers off at least 50 facial boards.. which is giving my finger a painful pinch now. Today's the second week of the month so it's time for physical training in BUkit Dumber!! no wait it dumbar!! lol (that was seriously a typo) and yeah i came as early as i could about 6:10 i think when i arrived suited up, do some stretching and then warm up rounds. My stomach was already feeling empty then.. and i was thinking die la this time sure flat out one.. wonder how many rounds i can make it. So Coach Ed came and gave us the 3 rounds in15 minutes and for those going for APAC less than 13 minutes.. so i ran and ran and ran... and ran.. and kept on running hoping and praying my stomach doesn't cramp in and i don't die half way. So run, and run , and run until i finished the 3 rounds.. at 10mins 56sec the last time we did 4 rounds my time was 16:15 which is an improvement of 51.75 secs per round on average.
Next was the killing drills.. everyone had to run up the slope (sprint) and get back down and ready to go in 45 seconds we did this for like 5 times.. then relax everyone sit down.. take it easy.. so people started sitting and resting.. then coach Ed gave us the next killer... -.- now do "the hike" (i think that's what it's called) where you put your hands on the ground and move your legs like you're running, do that for about 20 times then dash up the slope again and then back down and all this in 1 minute. -.- killer? you try it then tell me. So boom, i ran and before every round i was thinking can i make it this time.. my stomach seriously damn "eeau" d... but surprisingly i managed to pull it off.. whoo.. thank God.. and that was it.. but i didn't really feel that tired lo.. so i thought.. very long never do 40 yd dash d.. so i pecuted for a bit just to try can or not. lol... and surprisingly can wor.. hahah.. then i went for another round with short sprints in between then another after that.. i feel so refreshed after that then the makan and then.. my warm bath... etc etc.. you know how it feels lolz.. well that's it for today... i'll update on the RUNNAT next time yeah so hang in there
So back to the top.. i feel so fit..? no wait I am fit hahah or is it just today? Dunno oh well today was a little draggy in the office my head was burning dunno why.. my stomach was really hungry although i had milo in the morning and some cookies, and i was peeling stickers off at least 50 facial boards.. which is giving my finger a painful pinch now. Today's the second week of the month so it's time for physical training in BUkit Dumber!! no wait it dumbar!! lol (that was seriously a typo) and yeah i came as early as i could about 6:10 i think when i arrived suited up, do some stretching and then warm up rounds. My stomach was already feeling empty then.. and i was thinking die la this time sure flat out one.. wonder how many rounds i can make it. So Coach Ed came and gave us the 3 rounds in15 minutes and for those going for APAC less than 13 minutes.. so i ran and ran and ran... and ran.. and kept on running hoping and praying my stomach doesn't cramp in and i don't die half way. So run, and run , and run until i finished the 3 rounds.. at 10mins 56sec the last time we did 4 rounds my time was 16:15 which is an improvement of 51.75 secs per round on average.
Next was the killing drills.. everyone had to run up the slope (sprint) and get back down and ready to go in 45 seconds we did this for like 5 times.. then relax everyone sit down.. take it easy.. so people started sitting and resting.. then coach Ed gave us the next killer... -.- now do "the hike" (i think that's what it's called) where you put your hands on the ground and move your legs like you're running, do that for about 20 times then dash up the slope again and then back down and all this in 1 minute. -.- killer? you try it then tell me. So boom, i ran and before every round i was thinking can i make it this time.. my stomach seriously damn "eeau" d... but surprisingly i managed to pull it off.. whoo.. thank God.. and that was it.. but i didn't really feel that tired lo.. so i thought.. very long never do 40 yd dash d.. so i pecuted for a bit just to try can or not. lol... and surprisingly can wor.. hahah.. then i went for another round with short sprints in between then another after that.. i feel so refreshed after that then the makan and then.. my warm bath... etc etc.. you know how it feels lolz.. well that's it for today... i'll update on the RUNNAT next time yeah so hang in there
Sunday, October 04, 2009
This Sunday =)
So today was a great Sunday, and that I'd say because God made it that way =)
Started off with Sunday service at church where I was playing drums and Josh was leading in the singspration. I was a little disappointed that i did not receive the songs earlier in the week and that the music was a little messy as the bassist was playing his rifts... like a guitar instead of playing bass parts (he's a guitarist who always overplays as well). But oh well Pastor Victor was speaking on Money & Wealth and i assisted him in the powerpoint presentation. And i think it hit certain people i guess lolz parents need to hear that.
After church was a time of keeping up with old friends like JOnathan, Ee Kai, Alex, Sam and Chai Chee at McD which i got the coca cola cup lolz.. DOn't know why i'm obsessed with coca cola -.- I've actually got different bottles and cans of coca cola from a few places not too many yet XD although i'm trying to get more hahah. Then we went to catch a movie titled, FAR CRY based on the game which was actually a far cry -.- no idea why the name or the story of the movie since i didn't play the game so i don't really know except for the part where the main character always wears a Hawaiian shirt. ON the ratings i'd put 6/10 and instead of action movie i'd say it's more of a comedy? seriously the actions were pretty funny and we did crack a few times if not too many in the cinema. Short movie and if you didn't think it was funny then you just wasted your money lol.
OK so after that went to drool over the kawasaki Ninja 250R again then to my brother's place to pick up his stuff before going home to crashHhZzx..zz.. and then up again for dinner.
Since tomorrow is my dad's birthday Josh and i decided to do something for dad so i suggested Chillis for a BIG meal lolz.. but then my mom wasn't feeling so well so they didn't want to go that far so we settled for Juru Auto City :D. we went to Seoul Garden where we ate all we could till we couldn't eat anymore.... -.- we actually sat there from 7:30 to about 9:40 which was a while. we've not sat so long in an eating place for a long time or have never? oh well can't really remember. It was me and my brother's treat for my dad this time to appreciate him for all the things he's done for us :) Happy Birthday Dad!! whooo!. after dinner a walk in the flea market where kids were running around trying to follow the laser lights that were all over the floor and saw two movies there i mean two movies... haha one ending and the other beginning lolz. Yeah.. so i guess that was what happened today. Thank God for everything.
Started off with Sunday service at church where I was playing drums and Josh was leading in the singspration. I was a little disappointed that i did not receive the songs earlier in the week and that the music was a little messy as the bassist was playing his rifts... like a guitar instead of playing bass parts (he's a guitarist who always overplays as well). But oh well Pastor Victor was speaking on Money & Wealth and i assisted him in the powerpoint presentation. And i think it hit certain people i guess lolz parents need to hear that.
After church was a time of keeping up with old friends like JOnathan, Ee Kai, Alex, Sam and Chai Chee at McD which i got the coca cola cup lolz.. DOn't know why i'm obsessed with coca cola -.- I've actually got different bottles and cans of coca cola from a few places not too many yet XD although i'm trying to get more hahah. Then we went to catch a movie titled, FAR CRY based on the game which was actually a far cry -.- no idea why the name or the story of the movie since i didn't play the game so i don't really know except for the part where the main character always wears a Hawaiian shirt. ON the ratings i'd put 6/10 and instead of action movie i'd say it's more of a comedy? seriously the actions were pretty funny and we did crack a few times if not too many in the cinema. Short movie and if you didn't think it was funny then you just wasted your money lol.
OK so after that went to drool over the kawasaki Ninja 250R again then to my brother's place to pick up his stuff before going home to crashHhZzx..zz.. and then up again for dinner.
Since tomorrow is my dad's birthday Josh and i decided to do something for dad so i suggested Chillis for a BIG meal lolz.. but then my mom wasn't feeling so well so they didn't want to go that far so we settled for Juru Auto City :D. we went to Seoul Garden where we ate all we could till we couldn't eat anymore.... -.- we actually sat there from 7:30 to about 9:40 which was a while. we've not sat so long in an eating place for a long time or have never? oh well can't really remember. It was me and my brother's treat for my dad this time to appreciate him for all the things he's done for us :) Happy Birthday Dad!! whooo!. after dinner a walk in the flea market where kids were running around trying to follow the laser lights that were all over the floor and saw two movies there i mean two movies... haha one ending and the other beginning lolz. Yeah.. so i guess that was what happened today. Thank God for everything.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
the new dilema
The dilema i'm facing right now is as to whether i should nominate for the APAC floorball championship that will be on next year. Since a few key dates or training will clash with that of the firebrands. And the second question i ask myself is am i good enough?
Yet the reason i started this game is for the ministry at large and through the wise words of a friend who said "in order to be effective in something you gotta be at a certain level to have that experience" which i find to be true. And the second truth is that i am no longer 17 or 18 years of age which means to say my time in prime isn't too much left to spare. So for this time should i or should i not throwmy name in and hope to get the selection?
The management advice states to wait a couple years in order to have that experience enough before throwing myself into this.
Which way is best? what should i do?
Yet the reason i started this game is for the ministry at large and through the wise words of a friend who said "in order to be effective in something you gotta be at a certain level to have that experience" which i find to be true. And the second truth is that i am no longer 17 or 18 years of age which means to say my time in prime isn't too much left to spare. So for this time should i or should i not throwmy name in and hope to get the selection?
The management advice states to wait a couple years in order to have that experience enough before throwing myself into this.
Which way is best? what should i do?
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Hill
Of people, lizard, a fine place, a fine table and ice cream
So yet again another trip up the "mount of Penang" was birthed when a group of eager nature loving hill climbing enthusiasts decided for another trip before they all had to work their brains for the coming final test they all have to go through in order to graduate into life. All except for one who was way past all that. OK that just made me sound so old.. -.-
And here's the lizard we encountered along the way up who stayed on the road and did not move an inch the whole time we were around it. Just like a pro model lolz.. i came to the conclusion that it escaped from an under-paying modeling agency.

Then here's the fine place we stumbled upon the first time we came but did not step into. This time we set foot on the highland house which had a great view of the lovely city and served great desert like the *** *****(to be disclosed later).



That's all folks :) *looney tunes tune in the background*
So yet again another trip up the "mount of Penang" was birthed when a group of eager nature loving hill climbing enthusiasts decided for another trip before they all had to work their brains for the coming final test they all have to go through in order to graduate into life. All except for one who was way past all that. OK that just made me sound so old.. -.-
so here's the group minus the photographer :D up the
"mount of Penang"
"mount of Penang"
Then here's the fine place we stumbled upon the first time we came but did not step into. This time we set foot on the highland house which had a great view of the lovely city and served great desert like the *** *****(to be disclosed later).
The table in which we sat at under a nice shady tree which kept us cool the whole time we were there.
And the ICE CREAM we all came for, Daniel and I had the Chocolate which tasted awesome, Ivy had the strawberry, Gerald had the vanilla then he asked why no topping.. and Gary saved his money :D
And here's our final picture as a group up there before we headed down into town and the rest of the day you don't wanna know... -.- totally not fun for me. So I'll just keep it all behind and move forward while savoring the fun moments in the day :D
And the ICE CREAM we all came for, Daniel and I had the Chocolate which tasted awesome, Ivy had the strawberry, Gerald had the vanilla then he asked why no topping.. and Gary saved his money :D
That's all folks :) *looney tunes tune in the background*
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Ninja 250R
Now I've been looking and looking and looking for a long time now for a new bike hahah.. and guess what i've been setting my eyes on lol. That's right, the Kawasaki 250R ninja. This is a totally awesome bike that's to my license permit haha. Everytime i watch the review it makes me want it more heheh check them out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jlzKWAnQzI
Sunday, September 13, 2009
post Rising Star
The highly anticipated match for the season arrived and went in a whiff.
And here's the spread of the day events.
First-off i was assigned to team Bak Chang with awesome team mates and although i yell a lot during practice for me it's so they know what they do wrong and can learn on the spot. It's not because i'm angry or whatever at them. At times yes i'm a little frustrated but i do it for the yelling is to point out the mistakes and yes i do make mistakes also and i know it when i do obvious ones sometimes uncalled for but everyone needs to learn right?
So back to the main topic of the competition, I hardly yelled i think i only enLARGED my volume a couple times XD. I'd say our team did a pretty decent job despite the inexperience and lack of court sense. Team captain Wayne did a good job of holding the team together and providing the two bottles of 100 plus which helped quench the thirst and replenish the lost of sugar and salt.
Our first game was against the SXI boys who really showed us that young guns can have a go (or maybe coz i'm old -.-'') for the goal. We did underestimate our opponents although we ourselves were pretty on the weak side and sending only 1 and a half lines we had no chance of changing lines and also the level difference of the first line and second was a little unbalanced so we didn't have enough fire power up front. Also since it was our first game on court i think we were all a little disorganized and was just everywhere on court which really took a toll on our strength and stamina which cost us a 3 goal lost. Although i we took a few shots at goal their defense dis a good job at blocking our war and one shot that i could've sent in went straight into the goalie's chest in vain.. Defensive error also played a major part in the conceding of goals. The last goal that came was totally a blow for me since it actually hit my thigh and deflected into the top corner of the goal. Anyways our goalie was new to the arena too so we all still love him with his numerous saves =D kudos Nic.
So after that we got together for a post mortem of the first game to see where we can improve and every player respectively gave an input into the betterment of the team. So after the short(long) discussion we went for a team boost cheer BAKCHANG!!! and went into to catch the ongoing game.
Finally our turn was up and this time against Contact who had Coach Ed as their goalie -.- totally didn't expect that till right before the match when Ben Ong came and told me.. so a bit surprised la haha eh Penang head coach kay who not intimidated? lolz.. but anyways.. got the team together to get our mental straight don't care who the opponent is we do our best coz if they're not gonna hold back so why bother holding back? XD
And out we went against team Contact, which proved a tough run. game was fast paced and high energy it was up down up down for both teams. And being on defense the field of run was just a little more than the forwards or so it seemed. With a weaker forward line i tried to make shots from the middle court and also having the duty of guarding the offense player on the other team Ben Ong which is pretty lethal in the goal face there was a lot of running to do but the light came in not long into the game when i managed to make a shot a goal from a semi-drag shot which nailed the fist goal for the team and also the last. I had hopes that at least we could hold the fort but then on the attempt to make a second chance at goal i fell in front of the opponent goal which put me out of the game for quite a bit as i fell on my nerve and got my whole butt numb.. then when i finally got in our score was equalized and towards the end another shot was sent in by Charmaine also due to a blur defense so yeah..
So we went out after the game to have a brief debriefing time. and although we lost we did our best for this time round so we still stood up like winners with cheers for the FireBrands, our mental, bak chang and DIV 1!!!!
p.s. mind you i didn't have enough sleep two days straight before the game so very low...
And here's the spread of the day events.
First-off i was assigned to team Bak Chang with awesome team mates and although i yell a lot during practice for me it's so they know what they do wrong and can learn on the spot. It's not because i'm angry or whatever at them. At times yes i'm a little frustrated but i do it for the yelling is to point out the mistakes and yes i do make mistakes also and i know it when i do obvious ones sometimes uncalled for but everyone needs to learn right?
So back to the main topic of the competition, I hardly yelled i think i only enLARGED my volume a couple times XD. I'd say our team did a pretty decent job despite the inexperience and lack of court sense. Team captain Wayne did a good job of holding the team together and providing the two bottles of 100 plus which helped quench the thirst and replenish the lost of sugar and salt.
Our first game was against the SXI boys who really showed us that young guns can have a go (or maybe coz i'm old -.-'') for the goal. We did underestimate our opponents although we ourselves were pretty on the weak side and sending only 1 and a half lines we had no chance of changing lines and also the level difference of the first line and second was a little unbalanced so we didn't have enough fire power up front. Also since it was our first game on court i think we were all a little disorganized and was just everywhere on court which really took a toll on our strength and stamina which cost us a 3 goal lost. Although i we took a few shots at goal their defense dis a good job at blocking our war and one shot that i could've sent in went straight into the goalie's chest in vain.. Defensive error also played a major part in the conceding of goals. The last goal that came was totally a blow for me since it actually hit my thigh and deflected into the top corner of the goal. Anyways our goalie was new to the arena too so we all still love him with his numerous saves =D kudos Nic.
So after that we got together for a post mortem of the first game to see where we can improve and every player respectively gave an input into the betterment of the team. So after the short(long) discussion we went for a team boost cheer BAKCHANG!!! and went into to catch the ongoing game.
Finally our turn was up and this time against Contact who had Coach Ed as their goalie -.- totally didn't expect that till right before the match when Ben Ong came and told me.. so a bit surprised la haha eh Penang head coach kay who not intimidated? lolz.. but anyways.. got the team together to get our mental straight don't care who the opponent is we do our best coz if they're not gonna hold back so why bother holding back? XD
And out we went against team Contact, which proved a tough run. game was fast paced and high energy it was up down up down for both teams. And being on defense the field of run was just a little more than the forwards or so it seemed. With a weaker forward line i tried to make shots from the middle court and also having the duty of guarding the offense player on the other team Ben Ong which is pretty lethal in the goal face there was a lot of running to do but the light came in not long into the game when i managed to make a shot a goal from a semi-drag shot which nailed the fist goal for the team and also the last. I had hopes that at least we could hold the fort but then on the attempt to make a second chance at goal i fell in front of the opponent goal which put me out of the game for quite a bit as i fell on my nerve and got my whole butt numb.. then when i finally got in our score was equalized and towards the end another shot was sent in by Charmaine also due to a blur defense so yeah..
So we went out after the game to have a brief debriefing time. and although we lost we did our best for this time round so we still stood up like winners with cheers for the FireBrands, our mental, bak chang and DIV 1!!!!
p.s. mind you i didn't have enough sleep two days straight before the game so very low...
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
My new SHOEEEE!!!
You know the song "these boot were made for walking"
Well... i got the other version of "These Shoes Were Made For Running!!"
i got these yesterday :) thanks to the help of my brother.. i got to use them today although i flat-out(ed) just 100m before the finish line T.T
Well... i got the other version of "These Shoes Were Made For Running!!"
i got these yesterday :) thanks to the help of my brother.. i got to use them today although i flat-out(ed) just 100m before the finish line T.T
Training Trane-ing
Coach Ed said... Today first day la.. so we'll take it easy then he added "relatively"... lol
Relatively is a bad word in my vocabulary hahaha. Physical training outdoors for the first time so didn't really know what to expect except that it would be physically challenging? i guess.
And so after work.. which was near by, went straight to Bukit Dumbar for the routine. Reached there and everyone started showing up one by one so we waited and waited not too long and finally everyone arrived. I thought it was gonna be some sort of a obstacle-ish type of training with runs here and there on the top part. Then i realized.. No, we weren't going up there and we gathered at the sloppy side and i thought to myself.. wah... run up and down the slope? confirm GG... since so long haven't trained on my own. haven't gone jogging for at least couple of months. But thankfully that didn't happen although in the next coming training we will get there eventually..
But for today.. we were spared the hardship and went for the middleship lol. We did warm a warm up round around the circuit we were to run later. Then came the drill. groups of four jogging speed then fourth person sprint to take lead for about 10-15 steps then next last person sprint and same thing over and over for 5 rnds. So people in my group were Des, Sam, Jason and I. We started off steady setting our pace with some groups in front some behind then we took over the lead for the rest of it i think. We went on and on and on and on and on and then the final round.. was thinking wah Coach Ed didn't join our group, so we must be doing quite alright.. then as we went down the stairs he was in front of us.. and we overtook him.. in my mind i was thinking please don't overtake us... XD.. I was already starting to have minor cramps near my stomach.. then it happened, He took over.. and boy it was my turn to overtake him.. so i did and then Deswyn..... Boy did i die after that.. coach did an extended sprint after that and totally cramped up trying to push myself for the last 200m all thanks to the stupid bun i had like 5 mins before running. Don't know what i was thinking... haih... never let that happen again hahah..
However at the end of it, it was all worth it and fun :) i'll be sure to improve the next time round
Relatively is a bad word in my vocabulary hahaha. Physical training outdoors for the first time so didn't really know what to expect except that it would be physically challenging? i guess.
And so after work.. which was near by, went straight to Bukit Dumbar for the routine. Reached there and everyone started showing up one by one so we waited and waited not too long and finally everyone arrived. I thought it was gonna be some sort of a obstacle-ish type of training with runs here and there on the top part. Then i realized.. No, we weren't going up there and we gathered at the sloppy side and i thought to myself.. wah... run up and down the slope? confirm GG... since so long haven't trained on my own. haven't gone jogging for at least couple of months. But thankfully that didn't happen although in the next coming training we will get there eventually..
But for today.. we were spared the hardship and went for the middleship lol. We did warm a warm up round around the circuit we were to run later. Then came the drill. groups of four jogging speed then fourth person sprint to take lead for about 10-15 steps then next last person sprint and same thing over and over for 5 rnds. So people in my group were Des, Sam, Jason and I. We started off steady setting our pace with some groups in front some behind then we took over the lead for the rest of it i think. We went on and on and on and on and on and then the final round.. was thinking wah Coach Ed didn't join our group, so we must be doing quite alright.. then as we went down the stairs he was in front of us.. and we overtook him.. in my mind i was thinking please don't overtake us... XD.. I was already starting to have minor cramps near my stomach.. then it happened, He took over.. and boy it was my turn to overtake him.. so i did and then Deswyn..... Boy did i die after that.. coach did an extended sprint after that and totally cramped up trying to push myself for the last 200m all thanks to the stupid bun i had like 5 mins before running. Don't know what i was thinking... haih... never let that happen again hahah..
However at the end of it, it was all worth it and fun :) i'll be sure to improve the next time round
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Whoah Training ROCKS!!
Well well, it's been a while since state training got going and finally after a whole div 1 league and a few weeks past it's finally reinstated. And boy it was awesome although it's the first one after so long haha. I feel alive again.. it was all good cept for the part i got locked in the changing room while changing... -.- imagine changing clothes.. then suddenly lights off and doors locked lol.. course i was shocked but luckily ppl were still around or i would have to climb out through the window.. hahah
anyways... next week is the killer week which i'm looking forward to lolz.. haven't experienced it before so it'll be fun to find out to what extent i can push myself. I'm also thinking if i should join the 7km run in support of cancer patients which goes around the botanical gardens and youth park.. hmm.. hard to consider... XD it's a sunday morning too haiz...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Vindicate me Oh Lord
Praise to You Almighty God
All creation sing praise
For You have done great things
The earth is the Lord's
And everything in it
Praise Your Holy Name
I will seek You Oh Lord
In times when I'm weak
I will seek You
Even when I am strong
For my strength comes from You
Oh Lord my God
Alone I am unable
Only through You I am able
For You are faithful
Even when I fail You
Because You made me
And You know me
Even now when I am afflicted
When I'm shaken and in pain
You will lift me up
When I'm weary and down trodden
You will strengthen me
For those who wait on You
Will renew their strength
I wait on You Oh Lord
I wait on You
I will continually Praise You
forever I will Praise You
Vindicate me Oh Lord
From the things that surrounds me
Save me Oh Lord
Rescue me from the hand of the enemy
Those who seek to destroy me
Vindicate me
That I may rise once again to give You praise
Bless Your name forever
May Your name be blessed
All creation sing praise
For You have done great things
The earth is the Lord's
And everything in it
Praise Your Holy Name
I will seek You Oh Lord
In times when I'm weak
I will seek You
Even when I am strong
For my strength comes from You
Oh Lord my God
Alone I am unable
Only through You I am able
For You are faithful
Even when I fail You
Because You made me
And You know me
Even now when I am afflicted
When I'm shaken and in pain
You will lift me up
When I'm weary and down trodden
You will strengthen me
For those who wait on You
Will renew their strength
I wait on You Oh Lord
I wait on You
I will continually Praise You
forever I will Praise You
Vindicate me Oh Lord
From the things that surrounds me
Save me Oh Lord
Rescue me from the hand of the enemy
Those who seek to destroy me
Vindicate me
That I may rise once again to give You praise
Bless Your name forever
May Your name be blessed
Thursday, August 13, 2009
The Dwelling of My King
In the city on the hill
There Your presense is
For You are Holy
And none can match Your name
For I seek You daily
So I may see Your face
That I may dwell
In Your house forever
The one thing I desire
That I will seek
To dwell in Your house
It's to dwell in Your house
You alone deserve the praises
The praises of Your people
It rises to you
Like sweet incense
Like fragrant oil
Rising up to bless You
I will bless Your name forever
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Skipped, Passed, and Next Please
The phrase i've always heard whenever I wanted to do something when i was younger was oh you're too young. The first time I heard that blowing call was when i wanted to go for youth camp the first time. Well i was 12 and young, correct but so were the rest of the 12 year olds who did manage to go. I told my parents I wanted to go for the camp and guess what? You're still young, too young for that. No one can take care of you there bla bla bla... earlier on I wanted to follow my brother cycling when I was in langkawi, guess what you so young cannot go... guess what there were two guys younger than me who went...
When i wanted to work at 15.. oh no.. you're too young when i wanted to drive, oh no too young.. Seriously the number of "too young's" I've heard in my whole life is unimaginable. Don't remember how many times i've heard it. Anyways.. so i guess i have to wait till i'm older eh? So wait i did. Pouring all effort and energy into people working things out. Just waiting to get older. And one fine day I did grow older, but guess what now i'm too old. All my life I've heard prophecies of "you'll be a leader among people" but time and time I've only seen it skipped by me. Circumstances are always " i pick you, and you, and you, and *skip*, and you." These are your new leaders.
Time and time I offered to serve, but no i'm underqualified, you're over qualified for this small thing. It's ok, you should go do something better. I can't count the number of turndowns and excuses given. Well is this what it means to be that stallion, to be that leader, to be called. I don't know. Sometimes, and honestly speaking I've been tested and tried so so many times. It feels like it's too much. Too many times that I don't know when will be the day I leave it all. Is that what it takes? To forsake all? To leave all the "call" if it now exists for what's out there. If that's the measure of tolerating the words that i've been hearing then I might be forced to make the choice of leaving behind lies and deception. I don't know why people keep reminding me about oh.. remember you call and all bla bla bla.. what's there to remember when there's no help coming my way. I've done so many things, to look for an opening only to end up in denied answers. And people complain that I haven't done anything when they don't see the extent of where i've pushed myself sometimes.
Even in places where I can excel, I've been pushed aside just like that. In things i cannot achieve i accept, because there's someone who's better let him do it. But in areas i know i have strength in I've also been placed under the drawer. I am happy for the one chosen but i don't know how to react to those choosing. I sometimes feel like blowing up in myself. All those effort put in to bring up standards of people pushing myself to be better at what i do so i can be of help to those weaker and struggling pushing the tray from the bottom. To end the date with "oh you've all come a long way, now you're leaders." And the guy at the bottom stays at the bottom still pushing those on top higher and higher until they are able to rise themselves.
But I guess the only thing holding me on is that Jesus was the greatest servant when He was the greatest leader, He was God who came and served on the earth He created. Who am i compared to him. What's there for me to complain? With God in perspective, my answer is I have no right to complain. Fatalism says just wait till the worst happens. Hope says wait till the end of days. Hope? or Illusion? Your call. My answer? Hope only in God.
No Boundaries
Okay this is uber late if you consider the topic hahah but here's my two cents on the AI season with Lambert and that Allen dude. With all the rustle going on with who's better and who deserved the win I'll just put a little thought to it.
Personally I do think Adam has a better and unique voice. High pitches, although some sharp notes but blends nonetheless. When he did the song no boundaries I think it was prime rearranging the vocal parts was genius and nailed it perfectly. Studio recording would be easy for a guy with good pitches and range. I say it'll take no time for the producers to sign this guy and come up with loads of albums.
As for Adam, the video was totally cool with the spins and angle casts but, his voice was just not there. It was obvious that he couldn't reach the high notes and was bursting out his veins when he tried. I personally think that what he did was not up to par with the standard and it's totally not his kind of song. Although the studio recording makes him sound nice, i bet the ammount of tweaks needed to enhance the vocals would be immense. Hard word given nonetheless. When he did "Ain't No Sunshine," it was definitely a better piece.
However what's said is just personal thoughts and well sorry if you're a Kris fan and you feel offended. Well it's not the end. All decided the win still went to Kris. I did not follow through the season so i've only heard a couple of his songs which he did well actually and i liked them. Just the final piece wasn't his type of song to finish with. Based on the last performance results I still think Adam should've won but Kris did. So... with the ending song it definitely added meaning to the song as it was then proven that the lyrics described his journey there. It just added more meaning to the song at the end.
(I do not idolize any singers just like some of their work, comments are performance based)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
The update post
So I haven't been able to update for a bit since i haven't been home enough lately to use the computer. Now that I'm back I guess then I'm somewhat obliged to at least put up something here.
Post 1
The Riders Live
As you can see the title says it all. After weeks and months of not getting together finally we managed to pull off a day with 5 members on the field one fine Sunday, July 19th. Although we were anticipating a few more, some were out with injury or just away from town that weekend. All said, we managed to do a few basic drills on the field.
Post 2
The Riders Live II
And again The Riders live to see a second consecutive week. This time we had a shattering record of 11 people attending our Sunday scrimmage. Those present were Justin, Julian, Andrew, Daniel, Myself, Samuel Thum, and Justin's three friends Andrew, Fred, CM, and Sern (don't really know how to spell their names, my bad) who seemed really interested in the game and not forgetting Gary who came albeit a minor injury on his knee.
We started off a time of introducing the rules and techniques to the newcomers who were eager to learn and then had a few warm-up tosses to help them familiarize. Then we split into two teams Team 1: Julian, Justin, Sern, Andrew Ng, Fred. Team 2: Me, CM, Sam, AndrewC, Daniel.
yes... it seemed pretty imbalanced with the picks but we had fair picks XD.
Team 2 started the game from our 10 which got us up past midfield however a lost of yards was called due to carelessness. So on our last draw near our endzone I threw a long to AndrewC who caught the ball perfectly only to run precfectly out of bounds too with only a yard left for touchdown and while everyone was staring with disbelief he was celebrating his "touchdown."
So a turnover and ball on Team 1's 10. I'd have to say they made a good run down field but i guess due to inexperience their recievers couldn't catch the ball to make it count.
Team 2 had more experienced ball handlers which brought the team to put points on the scoreboard when it mattered. With long haulers like AndrewC and Daniel. Long passes was the ace card for the quarterback who was also able to run fast to rush the ball a good 12 yards to gain a first down which then led to the first touchdown. 3 points to team 2.
Team 1 finally had a good run and brought the ball close to their endzone. But Team 2 set up a goal line formation which put a good stop to their sneaky play of a QB dive to push them back another 2 yards and forced them to go with a pass play to score a TD. So the score tied to 3-3.
The next few touchdowns was from Team 2 with a criss-cross of the WR and HB down field team1's single CB was caught up in a mess as he didn't know who to follow resulting in a TD for Team2. and another touchdown after that from Team2 again. So with the last row for Team1 They decided to go for a long. QB Julian was in for it this time. Sending his twin towers up field and even his TE to a streak he made a long pass up their lawn into the midfield but came short. Team2's FS who managed to see the shortcoming was a little quicker then team1's TE to intercept the ball and run for a returning TD to end the day with a four to one touchdown resulting in a 12-3 score.
We hope to see more people coming next week so we can all learn this game make friends and connect with others with the same passion.
Post 1
The Riders Live
As you can see the title says it all. After weeks and months of not getting together finally we managed to pull off a day with 5 members on the field one fine Sunday, July 19th. Although we were anticipating a few more, some were out with injury or just away from town that weekend. All said, we managed to do a few basic drills on the field.
Post 2
The Riders Live II
And again The Riders live to see a second consecutive week. This time we had a shattering record of 11 people attending our Sunday scrimmage. Those present were Justin, Julian, Andrew, Daniel, Myself, Samuel Thum, and Justin's three friends Andrew, Fred, CM, and Sern (don't really know how to spell their names, my bad) who seemed really interested in the game and not forgetting Gary who came albeit a minor injury on his knee.
We started off a time of introducing the rules and techniques to the newcomers who were eager to learn and then had a few warm-up tosses to help them familiarize. Then we split into two teams Team 1: Julian, Justin, Sern, Andrew Ng, Fred. Team 2: Me, CM, Sam, AndrewC, Daniel.
yes... it seemed pretty imbalanced with the picks but we had fair picks XD.
Team 2 started the game from our 10 which got us up past midfield however a lost of yards was called due to carelessness. So on our last draw near our endzone I threw a long to AndrewC who caught the ball perfectly only to run precfectly out of bounds too with only a yard left for touchdown and while everyone was staring with disbelief he was celebrating his "touchdown."
So a turnover and ball on Team 1's 10. I'd have to say they made a good run down field but i guess due to inexperience their recievers couldn't catch the ball to make it count.
Team 2 had more experienced ball handlers which brought the team to put points on the scoreboard when it mattered. With long haulers like AndrewC and Daniel. Long passes was the ace card for the quarterback who was also able to run fast to rush the ball a good 12 yards to gain a first down which then led to the first touchdown. 3 points to team 2.
Team 1 finally had a good run and brought the ball close to their endzone. But Team 2 set up a goal line formation which put a good stop to their sneaky play of a QB dive to push them back another 2 yards and forced them to go with a pass play to score a TD. So the score tied to 3-3.
The next few touchdowns was from Team 2 with a criss-cross of the WR and HB down field team1's single CB was caught up in a mess as he didn't know who to follow resulting in a TD for Team2. and another touchdown after that from Team2 again. So with the last row for Team1 They decided to go for a long. QB Julian was in for it this time. Sending his twin towers up field and even his TE to a streak he made a long pass up their lawn into the midfield but came short. Team2's FS who managed to see the shortcoming was a little quicker then team1's TE to intercept the ball and run for a returning TD to end the day with a four to one touchdown resulting in a 12-3 score.
We hope to see more people coming next week so we can all learn this game make friends and connect with others with the same passion.
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